Two out of every three Ashland High School students have used alcohol, and one out of three has used marijuana, yet 70 percent of parents in the community believe that their child has never used alcohol and 83 percent say that their child has never used drugs, according to local health surveys.
"We think maybe there's a bit of a disconnect between what you think and what your kids are saying," Robert Moro, project director for the Ashland Youth Substance Abuse Foundation Initiative, told 265 parents and guardians who gathered at Ashland High School last week for a discussion about the risky behaviors of local students and possible solutions.
Extensive surveys of area youths and their parents about these behaviors were administered last year by the MetroWest Community Health Care Foundation, which polled 23,555 students in 18 communities. In Ashland, roughly 1,000 students completed the sur vey, including 94 percent of its middle-school students and 90 percent of high-school students.
In addition, 538 Ashland parents of children in all grade levels last fall completed a survey in which they were asked to assess their perception of their children's risky behaviors.
The results of the student surveys were released last fall by the foundation, but were not broken down by community.
The Feb. 11 gathering in Ashland, which included students, school administrators and social workers, was the first look by local parents at the community-specific numbers, which Moro said were "no better and no worse" than those in other area communities.
Lyndsy Muri, a freshman at Ashland High School, told the crowd that most parents in Ashland are "oblivious" to their children's destructive behaviors.
"This data isn't surprising to me at all," said Muri, a member of the school's chapter of Students against Destructive Decisions. "Stuff like this goes on every day."
The survey found that 4 percent of Ashland middle-school students reported attempting suicide; 5 percent of high-school students reported an attempt in the previous 12 months.
Middlesex District Attorney Gerry Leone, the evening's keynote speaker, acknowledged the difficulties in helping children make the correct decisions. "I'm not here to tell you that communicating with kids is easy," he said.
Leone expressed concern over reports that 24 percent of children who drink alcohol get it from a parent or guardian, according to a separate survey of 80 Ashland High School sophomore athletes.
"Alcohol is not a rite of passage, it's illegal," Leone said. "It's a slippery slope. What message do you think your kids are taking if you're the source?"
But in addition to discussing the unsettling results, the forum was about finding solutions.
Jessica Schendel, a counselor at Ashland High, and Susan William, a social worker for the town, said they take referrals from parents, teachers, administrators, and coaches, and provide referrals to outside caregivers, such as doctors and therapists, when needed.
Some students are embarrassed to approach a social worker or guidance counselor, Schendel said, but she added, "I bend over backwards to keep the services confidential."
Mary Lynn Kolowsky, parent of a freshman and a sophomore at the high school, said she attended the forum because she was curious about the survey's results and was most taken aback by the suicide-attempt numbers.
"It's a small town, and you feel like you know people," she said. "It surprises me that there are so many people in so much pain."
"I tend to be on the naive side," said Diane Conner, the parent of a seventh-grader and high-school sophomore. "I needed a wake-up call."
Moro said that he was pleased with the turnout and is already organizing additional gatherings.
"My hope is that there are 200 discussions in 200 living rooms in the days to come," he said. "I hope this is just the beginning, and we'll have healthier kids as a result."
