Diane Patrick says she has climbed back

Diane Patrick yesterday addressed the Women's Network of the Greater Boston Chamber of Commerce. She talked about the difficulties of seeing her husband criticized in public. It was hard, she said, not to be defined by her own achievements. (BIZUAYEHU TESFAYE/ASSOCIATED PRESS)

A year ago, Diane Patrick sank into a depression brought on by the tumult of her husband's new job, intense public scrutiny, and a set of expectations that she said had overwhelmed her sense of self. Yesterday, the governor's wife declared before a strongly supportive gathering that she has climbed back and feels "very, very happy."

"I was demoralized, I was diminished, I was exhausted," she told about 300 women gathered in a hotel ballroom for the Women's Network of the Greater Boston Chamber of Commerce.

"It just all came crashing down," she said.

Patrick, who has called herself "a deeply private person," quietly captivated the roomful of movers and shakers in her most extensive remarks since March 2007, when the governor's office announced she was being treated for depression and exhaustion. Yesterday was almost a year to the day that her problems became public.

She talked about the difficulties of seeing her husband criticized in public, in addition to being in the public spotlight herself. It was hard, she said, to be defined not by her own achievements, but by whom she was married to.

"I stopped being Diane, and I started being the lovely wife," she said. "Sometimes I was 'his lovely wife, Diane,' but sometimes I was 'his lovely wife, Donna' or 'his lovely wife, Shirley.' I began to lose my identity."

Patrick, who is a partner at the law firm Ropes & Gray, also said that she was "not really thrilled" when her husband decided to run for governor and that the campaign was something their two daughters, who were 17 and 20, "didn't want anything to do with."

Although she later became a regular adviser to her husband and a frequent fixture on the campaign trail, she said it was a struggle opening their lives when Deval Patrick ran for public office for the first time.

"Everything we did was scrutinized," she said. "Every part of my past was fair game."

The advice from a prominent political spouse, whom she did not identify - "You die inside, and you keep smiling" - was of little comfort as rumors were born and accusations flew.

Patrick said the family had to answer questions about whether Deval Patrick used cocaine, a rumor she said they traced to someone who overheard that he was "involved with Coke," referring to Patrick's time as an executive at the Coca-Cola Co.

She strode confidently into the Hyatt Regency ballroom yesterday, smiling, laughing, and shaking hands. She spoke in a firm voice, joked, and charmed the gathered business and political elite.

Patrick told of how after the election, she and her husband went to The Greenbrier, a luxurious 802-room hotel in West Virginia's Allegheny Mountains, for a National Governors Association conference.

Her husband went to courses on drafting a budget, and she attended classes on "how to manage your mansion staff." At one point, all of the women were asked to select outfits and stand in front of television cameras to see which ones looked better.

"I left there feeling so diminished," Patrick said.

One of the pieces of advice was for a governor's spouse to make sure to hire a chief of staff. When she hired one several weeks later, the governor was heavily criticized for creating the $72,000 position. The aide later resigned.

At the same time, Deval Patrick was increasingly under fire for a series of missteps in his young administration, including leasing a Cadillac, redecorating his office with expensive furniture and draperies, and making a call to a bank on behalf of a controversial lender.

Eventually, Diane Patrick said, she "just blocked out the world" and sought medical help.

"No one person did anything to me," Patrick said. "It was just being a political wife and having your own accomplishments and talents not only not used, but not even recognized."

The news that she was seeking medical treatment just two months after her husband took office appeared on the front page of the Globe after the governor's office announced she was being treated for exhaustion and depression and that the governor would be taking some time to be with her. Diane Patrick said she avoided reading the article until Monday, which was exactly a year after the announcement was made.

"There I was, splat, falling down, crashing right in front of everybody, right in the public eye," she said yesterday during a 30-minute address.

Schoolchildren sent poems and pictures. One woman knitted a prayer shawl, and thousands of others wrote letters of support.

Diane Patrick returned to work seven weeks later, but has maintained a low profile.

She is still guarded - Patrick would not answer questions from reporters yesterday - but has started making more appearances, taking up causes on education, domestic violence, and depression.

"I stand here today, a year later," Patrick said, "and I feel so incredibly strong."

Matt Viser can be reached at maviser@globe.com.