Reflect, respect
Memorial Day is more than just the unofficial start of summer, or a day off from work, or a chance to shop the sales. It is an opportunity to reflect on and honor the men and women who serve the nation. Some have died in that service, or watched their brothers and sisters die in foxholes beside them. Some sustained injuries that will be with them forever. Many are serving today in Iraq and Afghanistan, the final chapter of their battleground experience not yet written.
Tomorrow, Memorial Day, how do we best honor those who have served? And can we honor them without honoring the violence of war? Globe South asked veterans of four wars what they would like of Memorial Day, how it should best be observed.
Their answer: Grant us a moment of gratitude. It can come through a nod of respect, a handshake, or a thank you. It can be a flag snapping in the breeze, hung out to mark the day. And remember, they say, that Memorial Day is not a celebration. It is a day to remember and honor.
Here are edited excerpts from four who fought - in World War II, the Korean War, Vietnam, and Iraq.
John J. Bowles, 74, of Carver
KOREAN WAR veteran who served in the Army, as private and sergeant, from 1952 to 1968 After the service, Bowles was a roofer and sheet-metal worker. He is a ham-radio operator, and works with the National Hurricane Center, transmitting messages and weather conditions during emergencies.
'I'd do it all over again," said Korean War veteran John J. Bowles. "If they would take me into the service today, I'd go in now."
He joined the military because it was a family tradition. His brother was in the Army, another brother served in World War II, and his father fought in World War I. "The thing to do was to fight for your country," he said.
He doesn't gloss over the consequence of going to war.
"In wars, people got to die; the total was staggering, but what are you going to do? Innocent people die."
He is equally blunt when voicing his position on war protesters - whether it be skeptics on Memorial Day or sign-carrying antiwar activists. "Let them go to another country," he says; soldiers "putting their life on the line" deserve nothing but support.
Bowles believes everyone should serve, and that the draft should be reinstated. "Everybody lives here in this country; why should a few protect everybody?"
Even as much of America opposes the war in Iraq, Bowles is grateful that there is support for the troops. He said he is gratified when he hears about children making posters in school, delivering them to veterans posts.
On Memorial Day, Bowles hopes people will take time out of their day and remember those who lost their lives fighting under the American flag. "They deserve something. There's a lot that haven't come back, and people should respect the dead military people and give them their due respect; they died for their country."
What, exactly, should citizens do to show that respect? "Visit a grave, respect the flag, pay tribute," Bowles said. "I observe Memorial Day like everybody else. I think back and it brings back memories. You live with your memories."
Adrian Haynes, 82, of Middleborough
Mashpee Wampanoag name: Chief Silver Beach
WORLD WAR II Navy seaman, served from 1943 to 1947 in Italy and Africa
After the service, Haynes worked in foundries, drove a truck, and staffed the kitchen of a state hospital. He later started a museum in Aquinnah (formerly Gay Head), and ran a dance hall.
Haynes calls himself an old Navy man who believes war is necessary to stem the tide of fascism and communism. "Tyrants . . . fanatics . . . they can turn a whole country into a threat to independence," he said.
The military service of his colleagues in World War II and after have paid off, he said. "A great change in the culture has arrived. Communism has been wiped out. Fascism has been wiped out. I think we're coming to a new world."
How can Memorial Day honor those who ushered in that profound change? All Haynes wants, he said, is "a little bit of honor." That can be expressed as simply as attending an event that marks that day.
Through the years, Haynes said he has been gratified to look at a crowd at a parade and see a "look of love and respect" on their faces. But other times, he said, he has seen something less, maybe even disdain. Then the person, he said, just "looked away; they're there because someone dragged them there."
Haynes has had his share of adversity. As a Native American, he said, he and his people are neither black nor white, but in their own "Twilight Zone." Still, he is proud to be an American, proud that he served his country. He marches in every parade.
Trained by General George S. Patton Jr.'s Seventh Armored Division, Haynes was part of the Naval Supply Ninth Amphibian Force that took part in the 1944 Anzio invasion in Italy. He would do it again.
"Take the Vietnam War," he said. "Those people decided . . . it was a war for nothing" - and the country should not make the same mistake with Iraq.
Mark O'Reilly, 60, of Brockton
VIETNAM WAR service: Marine corporal 1966 to 1970; wounded twice in combat
Since returning from Vietnam, O'Reilly has taught at Brockton High School, worked as executive director of the Old Colony YMCA, and was chief of staff for Mayor John Yunits.
He is now retired from South Shore Habitat for Humanity.
Mark O'Reilly calls Memorial Day a chance to take stock of our freedom.
"It's a solemn day where we stop and we look around at all the freedoms that we have. We need to remember those freedoms that we have; they weren't guaranteed, they weren't given to us. They were purchased with blood, in most cases," said O'Reilly, a Marine veteran who served in Vietnam in 1967, and was wounded twice in combat.
It's every American's duty to stop and remember, O'Reilly said. "We're really not celebrating the victories of wars; we're not celebrating armistice; we're not celebrating the end of a war; we're not even celebrating. We're memorializing those men and women who have died in uniform defending our rights and defending our freedoms."
O'Reilly makes a distinction between servicemen and leaders. "Warriors don't pick the fight . . . they just fight it," he said. It's the leaders - the congressmen, the senators, and the president - who make the decision to go to war. But during the Vietnam era, that distinction was not made, he said.
He came home from Vietnam to be greeted by a country full of unrest, where veterans were called names. "I came out of Vietnam with one major disappointment and one major regret. The disappointment was the country that I went to defend was not very grateful. My major regret is that I didn't stand up and express that disappointment openly and publicly."
The protesters during those turbulent years owe their right to protest to the very military that upholds freedom, O'Reilly said. "That's the reason our fighting forces are over there [in Iraq], so that we have the right to those freedoms, making choices."
As for today's war in Iraq, he said, "Don't confuse lack of support of the war with lack of support for the men and women who fight; that's what happened in Vietnam."
How does one respect the troops while opposing the war? "It's the Congress and the president who really make the decision to send our men and women to war. Our forces follow orders and go.
"People who are against the war . . . their voices should be against the senators and congressmen who make the decision - vote them out of office."
In the end, O'Reilly feels his service in Vietnam was worth it. It was a personal choice to serve, despite the draft, and one that he does not regret.
Tomorrow, O'Reilly will pause and remember those who died. "The ones I remember," he said, "are the ones who died in Vietnam."
Sergeant Gregory J. Jasinskas, 34, West Bridgewater
IRAQ WAR Army sergeant, deployed in November
When not on duty, Jasinskas is a state trooper out of the Milton barracks.
Although media reports say American soldiers hate being in Iraq, and Americans in general are against the war, Sergeant Gregory J. Jasinskas dismisses those assertions. "Nothing could be further from the truth," he said.
Jasinskas, who is on his second tour overseas, the first as a Marine, and now as an Army staff sergeant, believes in the tenets of the American military. Those now serving - "the finest young men and women this generation could produce" - are honoring all service members, past and present, by being on the front lines, he says. "Their service and sacrifice honor all who came before us."
"Fighting for freedom, no matter where it is, what the cost, or when it is happening, is the greatest honor that I can think of. That is what America is about," Jasinskas wrote in an e-mail from Baghdad.
Jasinskas said questions about whether fighting the war is worth it and how people show opposition "are, frankly, offensive to me. It demeans everyone of us that has laid it on the line here to assist the Iraqi people to be free."
His view: "Believe nothing you see on TV; we're doing really good things over in Iraq."
