Zen and the art of Boston driving
When I began writing this column, I was your typical me-first Boston driver, conditioned to beat every light and pass wantonly on the right. But having written tomes about prudent driving since then, I daresay I've changed my habits. When I stumbled across an online quiz on aggressive driving recently, I figured I'd do just fine.
Alas, as I kept checking off box after box -- "Do you get angry at slow drivers?" "Do your spouse or friends tell you to calm down?" "Do you curse at other drivers?" -- a sinking feeling came over me.
I scored in the "high" range for angry driving, I was too embarrassed to submit my name.
Of course, I'm probably not the only Boston driver who could use pointers on how to de-stress while stuck in traffic on Storrow Drive. Should you take the quiz at the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety website, you might be surprised at how competitive, angry, or impatient a motorist you are, too.
I bring this up because today happens to be the Dalai Lama's birthday. I'm not Buddhist, but seeing him as a role model of tranquility, why not use our space today to discuss the inner peace we share as Massachusetts motorists? Or, our lack thereof?
No, I didn't interview any monks for today's column. But the experts I did consult offered plenty of advice on staying cool when the movie starts in five minutes and the car in front of you is going 18 miles an hour; keeping calm when some idiot cuts you off on the exit ramp; and maintaining serenity when your yappy rider won't quit.
In fact, they offered so much Zen, we'll be covering the topic in two parts.
Averting trouble
Common sense, naturally, is your best friend in avoiding road angst. We all get frustrated more easily when we're hungry or dying of thirst, so make sure you have something with you to munch on or drink while driving. Make sure you (and the kids) have used the bathroom before a long trip. If you can't concentrate on driving with the cellphone ringing, shut it off.
"Preparation always makes driving easier," says Judith Paine, executive director of the Center at Westwoods, a nonprofit spiritual center that exudes peacefulness. "It seems nervous and pedantic to always have the road maps and to always have a place to sleep at night, but being overprepared often means you can be relaxed."
The list of practical things you can do to make your ride less frantic is practically endless, Paine says.
Make sure your car is gassed up and in good running order so you don't have to worry about conking out. Pack an audio book or a favorite CD (or download lots of Podcasts like I do) for when you're bored. Pad your expected travel time by 15 minutes. Bring change for toll booths. If your dog doesn't do well in the heat, don't bring her along on a very hot day.
"Make sure your windshield is clean, particularly before a long journey. Peering through a dirty windshield is a common source of stress and fatigue when driving," advises AAA's Foundation for Traffic Safety website.
In the moment
Of course, sometimes you can't avoid getting angry. Getting lost because of bad MapQuest directions is one thing; almost getting killed by a tailgater is another.
What do you do when you're about to explode?
"Keep one hand on the steering wheel and one hand between your belly button and your waistline. Breathe in, hold for three, breath out for three," says Paine. "When you slow down your breathing purposely, you change your brain waves. You're changing the biochemical feedback in the body. Slowing your breathing down slows you down."
If tension is mounting because you're running late, switch off that thumping rock song and call to say you won't be on time, says Dr. Srini Pillay, a psychiatrist at McLean Hospital's neuroimaging center. "It sounds easy, but a lot of people stress and don't call in."
If the stress is a backseat driver who's harping on you, tell him firmly that you need peace to concentrate on your driving. "Or if your style is to say shut up, then say shut up," Paine says.
If kids are screaming in the backseat, use diversionary tactics -- hand them a map and have them help you navigate, strike up a driving game like spot the mail truck, or hand them some tissues and have them clean the car for you. "Ask them to wash the door or wash the window. Little kids love to help," Paine says.
If a monster traffic jam is enraging you, time to exercise.
"Imagine a center line down your nose, down your belly," Paine says. "Take your right arm and cross it over your left side. Or take your left arm and reach behind your right shoulder. When you cross that halfway line, you are forcing the hemispheres of your brain to integrate. It helps relax you because you're not taxing just one half of your brain."
Pillay couldn't say whether such advice was scientifically accurate, but he agrees that exercise in general can help reduce driving stress.
"Don't clench your teeth. Loosen your grip on the wheel, take a deep breath, and do limited exercises and stretches for your arms and legs," concurs AAA.
Again, common sense stuff, but easy to forget when you're upset.
More relaxation tips next week.
