City's snow alerts get a techno tuneup

Cosmo Catalano has a soft spot for winter, after creating a mashup version of Somerville's official snow-emergency announcement. (Globe Staff Photo / Evan Richman)

Snow emergencies matter in Somerville, where storms bring a blizzard of tickets and tows. Since 2007, the city has allowed residents to sign up for voice and e-mail alerts so they know when to move their cars for the plows.

But can you dance to it? Thanks to Cosmo Catalano, now you can. He took an official snow-emergency announcement and set it to a techno beat.

Catalano, 26, was listening to music on the bus on his way home last month when the call came in: city spokesman Tom Champion's recorded voice giving snow-alert information.

Catalano had received e-mail alerts in previous storms but not the robo-call. Though his music - Kanye West, he said - had stopped, his mind still heard the notes. Inspiration struck. Never mind the open meeting law: This was open season to party.

The website designer and blogger knew from previous research that "anything produced by a government employee in the course of their work is public domain," Catalano said.

Conveniently, the snow e-mail alert included a link to a sound file of Champion's announcement. Catalano downloaded it and set it to a techno beat, using one of his apartment's three computers.

The 3-minute 22-second song opens with a meditative, shimmering wave of synth and Champion's voice echoing "hello." About a minute in, the drumbeats start.

He posted the remix online, calling it "probably my most productive three hours of 2009."

To publicize it, he alerted friends on Facebook and Twitter, directing the post to the attention of local blogwatcher Universal Hub. Twitterers spread the word immediately.

Most found it funny. But Catalano's goofy track hit on a real Somerville gripe, featured in the track as "Cars - odd side only. Cars - odd side only."

In a snow emergency, cars must park on the odd-numbered side of the street to allow plows to clear all the way to the curb. Complaints about the seemingly random rule are as persistent as winter weather after Groundhog Day.

The plows push a wall of snow onto the even side's walks and driveways. If you just shoveled, too bad.

In addition, people who usually park in front of their houses need to find a different spot, sometimes a street or two over.

"That issue comes up every single year," said Ward 1 Alderman Bill Roche, a nearly 15-year veteran of the board. "Most of the more senior aldermen let it go . . . it's been hashed to death."

Catalano lived on the even side of the street and considered it a manageable inconvenience. (Then again, he's a winter cyclist who grew up in Western Massachusetts and skied for his college's cross-country team.)

The reasoning behind the rule is lost in the chilly mists of time. Roche couldn't remember when it started. He's heard there were more parking spaces and fire hydrants on the odd side.

"Probably when they started, the DPW commissioner said, 'I live on the odd side of the street,' " he joked. (Eight of the 11 current members of the Board of Aldermen, the mayor, and Champion all live on the even side of their streets.)

However, the very snow alerts that provided Catalano and others with hours of entertainment might make it possible to change the rule and level the load.

The alert technology "would make it a lot easier" if the city wanted to change the system, Roche said, by alternating the unlucky side of the street yearly, for instance. "You could get the word out."

The aldermen are setting up a meeting with Somerville's director of traffic and parking, public works commissioner, and fire and police chiefs, Roche said. They plan to start examining the reasons for the rule. Still, "we're not going to solve it for this winter's snowstorms," Roche said.

So you might as well have fun. Catalano encouraged people to play around with his track and create their own remixes, though to his knowledge no one has bitten so far.

The inadvertent lead vocalist won't mind. "I was as amused as anybody else," Champion said. "It's clearly provided a lot of people with entertainment."

Last year, Champion's snow-emergency announcements sparked a haiku contest and Facebook fan club.

Champion e-mailed the blogger confirming that the voice track was public record and rebuking him, "tongue in cheek," Catalano said. An acquaintance of Catalano's in city government said the track played all morning in City Hall.

The spokesman "feigns a little bit of resistance to it but secretly he loves it." Catalano theorized. Naturally, Catalano posted the e-mail to his blog.

His artistic achievement done, Catalano is leaving Somerville's arcane parking rules behind. Last week he started moving to Boston's Fenway section - for convenience, not lack of affection for Somerville, he hastened to explain.

He anticipated having way less trouble with his car at his new home.

Based on the word of friends, Catalano said, "I guess you can leave your car in a spot . . . forever? Well, not forever."