North of Boston, a new effort to stem same-sex abuse

“That underscores that domestic violence is not about gender, but about power and control,’’ Rogers said.

Still, “not a lot of mainstream domestic violence programs serve the LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender] community,’’ said Chai Jindasurat, director of organizing and education for the Network/La Red, a domestic violence program in Cambridge.

Salem-based HAWC is the exception.

About five years ago, all its staff members received training from the Boston and Cambridge programs on how to screen for domestic violence in same-sex relationships.

“We tried to begin by building bridges of trust and getting visible in the gay community,’’ said Candace Waldron, executive director of HAWC.

In 2009, HAWC changed its name from Help for Abused Women and Children to Healing Abuse Working for Change to reflect its outreach to a wider group of people, not just heterosexual women.

“It used to be when someone called about being abused, if they were a man they were not believed, and if they were a woman they were believed,’’ Waldron said. “We were screening by gender without learning what was going on in the relationship.

“There was a misnomer that lesbians wouldn’t be abusive because only men are abusive. With gay men, it was that they are physically equal, so how would one let himself be the subject of abuse?’’

Now, Waldron said, “we try not to assume everyone is in a heterosexual relationship. We try to listen to what they need and sort out what is happening. It’s the behavior, not the gender of the person.’’

While victims of domestic abuse are typically isolated by their abuser and separated from their families, Waldron said “LGBT victims are further isolated, as they have more limited options for services and may be facing issues of homophobia or transphobia at their school, workplace, or within their family.’’

Waldron said people in abusive same-sex relationships are often “reluctant to call police or get a restraining order or seek health care, because there is a stigma for outing yourself.’’ And, she said, abusers sometimes tell their partners things like, “If you call police, I’ll out you and you’ll lose your job.’’

She said callers to HAWC often don’t use a pronoun for their partner until an advocate does so, saying something such as, “what did he or she do?’’ By the answer, the advocate can tell if it is a same-sex relationship.

She said the training “gave advocates tools to look at patterns, such as who makes the decisions, who makes the money, whose life is getting bigger, and whose life is getting smaller.’’

Rogers, of the Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project, said training at mainstream domestic violence groups involves “telling them they already have the skills of working with victims, and victims of domestic violence are similar. It’s just getting them to feel confident working with the LGBT community.’’

HAWC also has been reaching out to LGBT youth, including presentations in schools about respectful relationships, the warning signs of abuse, and the role of homophobia and transphobia in perpetuating violence and bullying.

“Homophobia is rampant among teens,’’ said Waldron. “The name-calling and bullying that goes on is frequently related to sexual identity.’’

Rogers said HAWC is “definitely out in front’’ among domestic violence groups in expanding its reach to the gay and lesbian community.

Jindasurat, who has worked in domestic violence in other regions of the country, said HAWC “should be looked at as a model for other programs. It will be a slow process, but work is being done in Massachusetts. I think Massachusetts is leading the nation.’’