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Beam on Politics: Three candidates with their own particular ‘hells’

E-mail|Link|Comments () November 11, 2009 02:13 PM

By Alex Beam, Globe Staff

"Hell is other people" -- French philosopher Jean Paul Sartre

1. If you are Scott Brown, Republican candidate for Ted Kennedy's Senate seat, hell is someone named Jack E. Robinson.

Scott Brown, a.k.a. the Man from Jordache, is a jocky, reasonably coherent state senator who until just a few days ago was cruising unopposed to the GOP Senate nomination. As the only Republican, Brown was getting some decent media play, and his story fleshes out nicely. He is a triathlete, an officer in the National Guard, a former Jordache jeans model, and husband of an attractive TV reporter, Gail Huff of Channel 5. His daughter is singer Ayla Brown, who wowed local teens with her "American Idol" appearances in 2006.

Brown was going to be this year's Joe Malone, the un-feisty, gracious loser setting himself up for future statewide contests by sliding his head under the guillotine of the Democratic machine. In 1988, the young Malone won the heart of the Massachusetts political establishment by not running too hard against pre-turnaround (read: pre-Vicki) Teddy. Malone refrained from alluding to the senator's embarrassing indelicacies, and two years later became the treasurer of the Commonwealth.

Suddenly, Robinson, a Duxbury attorney, has jumped into the race, and Brown looks none too happy about it. At a League of Women Voters debate on Sunday, Brown did his best to ignore Robinson, preferring to engage the Democrats instead. But Robinson, who has an erratic track record in electoral politics, refused to be ignored. He can be alternately wacky -- he suggested someone audit the Federal Reserve, unclear who -- and razor-sharp. After Brown gassed on about his desire to serve on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, Robinson invoked the Senate's arcane "same-state" rule: John Kerry is already on Foreign Relations, which closes it to other Bay Staters.

In his closing statement, Robinson challenged Brown to more debates, a challenge Brown stolidly ignored. The next day, Robinson issued a press release saying "Scott Brown is afraid to debate me one-on-one."

2. If you are Michael Capuano, hell is two people named Alan Khazei and Steve Pagliuca.

In the real world, Capuano, a six times re-elected congressman from an urban district, would stand a decent chance in a statewide election against Martha Coakley, a sitting attorney general. Capuano is energetic, if not a little over-caffeinated, and the too-cautious Coakley -- on Halloween, she got spooked by the Boston Herald trick-or-treaters! -- has plenty of vulnerabilities. But Capuano will never, ever, be able to debate her one-on-one. Because all of the Democratic forums, or debates, or whatchamacallems, will feature all four of the declared candidates: Coakley, Capuano, Pagliuca, and Khazei. The visuals don't work for Capuano. He's just another guy in a suit talking up his liberal politics. The woman stands out.

Worse still, there is absolutely no chance that "Pags" or Khazei will drop out. They're having too much fun! They're on TV incessantly, and the political scribblers dutifully transcribe their "position papers," as if anyone cared. It's not like either candidate has a job he is anxious to return to.

3. If you are Charlie Baker, Republican candidate for governor, hell is a man named Tim Cahill, currently the state treasurer.

In a one-on-one race against an ineffectual and unpopular Democratic governor -- that would be Deval Patrick -- Baker could fare pretty well. He's smart, he's tall (believe me, that's important) and he can fund-raise. While it is true that Patrick is often mis-underestimated, I think Charlie could prove to be a worthy and perhaps successful adversary.

If Tim Cahill weren't in the race.

But Tim Cahill is in the race, running as an independent. He will claim to be a fiscally responsible, centrist Democrat running against Patrick and the party's Obama wing. In theory, he could be the H. Ross Perot of the 2010 governor's race, draining anti-Patrick votes and self-styled independent thinkers from the Baker column.

Alex Beam is a Globe columnist. His e-dress is beam@globe.com