Wedding bells toll in Conn. for gay couples

Jennifer Vickery (left) and Peg Oliveira were the first couple yesterday to wed under Connecticut's same-sex marriage ruling. (BOB CHILD/ASSOCIATED PRESS)

NEW HAVEN - They said their vows holding hands, standing before a memorial to the 1839 Amistad slave revolt. Carved in its base were the words: "Make Us Free."

Yesterday Peg Oliveira and Jennifer Vickery became the first couple to exercise their new freedom to wed under a court decision that makes Connecticut only the second state in the country to currently allow same-sex marriage.

State Appellate Court Judge Herbert Gruendel, a longtime friend, conducted the ceremony outside New Haven City Hall as the couple's 3-month old daughter, Willow, watched from a stroller.

"I want to say thank you to Connecticut for letting us do this," Vickery said, her voice trembling.

Their wedding occurred just 90 minutes after a lower-court judge entered a formal decision to comply with the Oct. 10 state Supreme Court ruling that gay marriage was legal in Connecticut.

The pronouncement came four years after eight plaintiff couples filed a suit arguing that the state's ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional.

At the time, it appeared that Connecticut would become the third state in the nation to allow gay marriages. But after California's approval of a gay marriage ban last week, that number decreased to two, with Connecticut joining only Massachusetts in granting gay couples equal marriage rights.

This change in the political landscape made yesterday bittersweet for some couples in Connecticut, even as they rejoiced in their new rights.

"We're very sad," said Stephen Davis, who, with his partner Jeffrey Busch, was one of the plaintiff couples who got their marriage license in New Haven yesterday. "It does somewhat diminish our joy."

But for most gay couples in Connecticut yesterday, the joy far outweighed their concerns about legal battles to come. Across the state, gay couples visited town or city clerks to apply for marriage licenses yesterday, although most appeared to be waiting to actually tie the knot.

"In my lifetime, I've seen it go from 'the love that dare not speak its name' to today, when we have a love that can be declared on the steps of New Haven City Hall," said Garret Stack, 59.

Stack and his partner of 28 years, John Anderson, 63, were the oldest of the eight plaintiff couples. They plan to get their marriage license in Woodbridge, where they live, and to wed next July as close as possible to their 29th anniversary as a couple.

As the lower court made it official yesterday, tears streamed down the face of several of the plaintiff couples as they hugged their partner and their lawyers in the courtroom. Connecticut legalized civil unions in 2005, a year after the suit was filed, but that did not satisfy gay couples seeking marriage equality.

"Today, Connecticut sends a message of hope and inspiration to lesbian and gay people throughout this country who simply want to be treated as equals by their government," Ben Klein, the lead attorney for the plaintiffs in the case, said shortly after the final ruling was issued.

Klein called the passage of the California gay marriage ban "a heartbreaking vote." But he also urged people to remember that "justice is not won or lost on one case or one vote."

The Connecticut decision, Klein said, is "living proof that marriage equity is alive and well and making progress in this country."

Suzanne and Geraldine Artis, another of the plaintiff couples, stood with their three children and wept as they listened to Superior Court Judge Jonathan E. Silbert close the case.

Their 9-year-old son, Gezani, said he knew why his mothers were so happy in that courtroom. "They've been working at it for a lot of years," he said.

First in line to get their marriage license in New Haven were Barbara and Robin Levine-Ritterman, who were also part of the landmark suit.

Barbara Levine-Ritterman recalled that when they applied for a civil union several years ago, "we didn't do it with pride or joy."

"It felt gritty to be in a separate line," she said, remembering that heterosexual couples seeking marriage licenses had their own line at the clerk's office. "It's great to be in one line," she said with a grin. "Love is love, and the state recognizes it."

While some city clerks were dealing with a rush of gay couples seeking marriage licenses yesterday, there was less pressure in smaller towns like Cromwell and Glastonbury.

"We've had just two phone calls," said Darlene DiProto, town clerk in Cromwell.

Joyce P. Mascena, the town clerk in Glastonbury, said her office has "had a few inquiries," adding, "I wouldn't call it a big rush."

In the Hartford suburb of South Windsor, Danielle Pinder and her partner, S.D. Broder Jr., became the town's first same-sex couple to take out a marriage license yesterday afternoon.

"We had a civil union three years ago," said Pinder. "But when someone asks if you're married and you say you're civil, they look at you like you have three heads."

"With marriage, there are definitely no questions about how your relationship is formed or how you're working together as a pair," said Broder, a police officer in New Haven.

Despite the California referendum vote against gay marriage, Broder said she is optimistic about the future. "In our lifetime, I think we'll see the rest of the country get on board," she said.