This Bond drives a Toyota Sienna minivan (“I wish I drove a fast car!”) and prefers domestic beer to Russian vodka. Those differences notwithstanding, his wife Kim brags about being married to James Bond, she says, telling people she is “one of his golden girls, and how good can you get?”
Fifty-two-year-old James Bond, a tradesman from the North Shore, says he has been chased out of supply houses for supposedly signing a phony name. When asked to show a picture ID, he has been accused of fakery. Even when he met his wife-to-be, she questioned whether he was trying to fool her, if not impress her.
Happily, she got over her doubts about Bond’s authenticity. Their 1995 wedding paid homage to Bond mania. The groom dressed in a white tuxedo, and James Bond theme music played for their processional.
Bond being Bond, this James B. chose a number ending in 007 for his first phone number and wears an 007 model Omega wristwatch that keeps excellent time, even if that is about all it does.
Less 007-like, he drives a Ford Explorer, has no taste for martinis, and recalls sitting beside his mother years ago watching a Bond movie on television.
The film reached a scene where Britain’s sexiest secret agent began misbehaving in some fashion.
“She looked at me and said, ‘I hope you don’t turn out like that,’ ” Bond recalls.
Joseph P. Kahn can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.