Market Basket elicits strong feelings among most people in Massachusetts and surrounding states. For a certain few locals, that feeling is lust.
How About We is a dating website and app. It’s blog, The Date Report, endeavored to learn about love between the aisles of that most New England of supermarket chains. Contributor Meghan Johnson went shopping on Craigslist’s Missed Connections page and picked out 10 juicy Market Basket-related posts.
What did Johnson find? Men looking for love but unable to really describe the person they’re looking for. A Billerica man offered no description at all:
First up is this self-proclaimed "easy going" gentleman from Billerica, or as I call it, the "Paris of the North Shore." The real beauty in this post is the sheer lack of description. "20 Items or More???" I think that's an attempt at sexual innuendo. Get it? Because they met in the "20 Items or Less" line. The "More" is an unequivocal sex invite.
While a gentleman in Danvers settled on “very sexy body.”
Of course, her "very sexy body" had a little bit to do with it. But most importantly, he'll be able to pick you out of the crowd because you probably know the specific nationality of the checkout boy. Unless the checkout boy had a distinct Irish accent as he packed your Doritos, this is a bit suspicious.
Then there was the Oxford man who knew his future bride was”wearing dark yoga pants and had something in [her] cart.”
All true romances start out at the deli counter, BTW. And while these two lovebirds traded smiles as they shuffled down the aisles, they didn't speak. Luckily, the female paramour was wearing dark yoga pants, which as we all know, are like, instant sex.
It goes on and on from there. Good luck, fellas.