Little joy at ban of holiday traditions

Red-and-green elf hats were banished from one school. ''Merry Christmas" was booted from songs at another, prompting a grandfather to berate a teacher for taking the spirit out of the holidays.

Medway police were called to try to calm the grandfather, making it a tense last day of school in the Medway school system before winter break. Such rifts, one scholar said, are a common consequence when school officials try to tiptoe around the religious aspects of the holiday season.

Now parents in Medway are complaining to School Committee members that Christmas was left out this year, and a national nonprofit is threatening to sue the 3,000-student school system if it ignores Christmas in the future. The incident follows a controversy in Boston last month when an official city website called the Christmas tree on Boston Common a ''holiday tree."

''We're trying to celebrate a season, and a few people get bent out of shape about it," said Greg Fingar, a Medway Middle School parent. ''It seems like people are losing touch with what the season's all about."

Fingar's wife, Dale, became a part of the dispute over how to mark the holidays in Medway schools when her son's sixth-grade teacher sent home red and green elf hats she had sewn for the class. Her son said the teacher wanted her to replace the red with white to avoid Christmas colors.

Yesterday, Superintendent Richard P. Grandmont did not return calls seeking comment.

Susan Connolly, a Medway School Committee member, said she didn't mind that religious songs were removed from school performances if they made people uncomfortable. But she said the School Committee should investigate ways to avoid these kind of clashes over holiday symbols and expressions next year.

''I really think it's a little bit gone overboard," she said.

Parents and two School Committee members link the start of the controversy to last week when the Medway Middle School principal sent a letter to parents saying that ''Jesus Christ Superstar'' songs would be removed from a musical in January. Some parents had complained that the song was unfair to other religious groups.

The incident with the elf hats followed the letter, and then, on Thursday, Memorial Elementary School replaced the words ''Merry Christmas" with ''swinging holiday" in a concert, upsetting parents and prompting Boston Herald coverage.

Yesterday, another group of students didn't sing ''We Wish You a Merry Christmas" in a concert, said School Committee member Kelly O'Rourke, who was in the audience and thought they were supposed to sing that well-known Christmas classic.

Police Lieutenant Allen Tingley said the school called police when a grandfather had a heated discussion with a teacher over the program, but nobody was arrested. Police stayed to supervise the 200 parents watching children sing.

Parents and others grumbled that school policies were inconsistent. Dale Fingar said bus drivers were dressed as Santa Claus. At the elementary school pageant, children sang ''O Hanukkah."

''I don't care if my child sings a Jewish song or a Kwanzaa song," O'Rourke said. ''But where's my Christmas song?"

Her son, Jake, 11, was perplexed by the brouhaha. ''I don't think that it should be this big of deal," he said.

Mathew Staver -- president of the Liberty Counsel, a religious freedom organization that criticized Mayor Thomas M. Menino of Boston over the Christmas tree flap, said the organization wrote to the Medway school superintendent complaining about the incidents. Staver threatened lawsuits if Christmas is ignored in the future.

''It's certainly political correctness run amok," he said.

Charles C. Haynes, a senior scholar at the First Amendment Center, a Virginia nonprofit, said holiday squabbles are symptoms of the schools' larger failure to teach religion. The government constitutionally cannot promote religion, but Haynes said it is legal to teach about religion.

''Public schools should be teaching students about what people actually believe," he said. ''That's part of a good education."

Dale Fingar said she was unhappy that she had to sew white trim on the elf hats, and hoped the school system could handle the holidays better next year. ''I thought it was a celebration of the seasons and not Christ," she said.

Maria Sacchetti can be reached at msacchetti@globe.com.

Approved songs

Medway School Committee member Kelly O'Rourke said the school system booted ''We Wish You a Merry Christmas" from a holiday performance yesterday at Memorial Elementary School. Below are the songs, approved by the school, the children sang:

''America the Beautiful"

''A Reason for the Season"

''Born to Make Music"

''Winter Wonderland"

''O Hanukkah"

''Jingle Bell Rock"

''Let There Be Peace"

''Put a Little Love in Your Heart"

''Super Celebration"

Source: Medway School Committee member Kelly O'Rourke