Got wood? These guys know how it stacks up

How much wood does a wood measurer measure?

If the person in question is one of Brookline's two Measurers of Wood and Bark, the answer is simple: none at all. Neither George Carroll nor Patrick Maloney recalls ever needing to measure any wood as a current holder of that office. And don't even ask about measuring bark.

Nonetheless, every year at Town Meeting, assembled Brookliners take up as their first order of business the appointment of said officials.

The Board of Selectmen recently certified the warrant that Town Meeting members will consider on May 23, and among the document's 31 articles are several that cover serious town matters.

Article Number 1 is a proposal ''To see if the Town will establish that the number of Measurers of Wood and Bark be two, to be appointed by the Selectmen, or act on anything relative thereto."

Stanley Spiegel, a 25-year veteran of town government, has long supported the measurer measure. ''It costs the town nothing, but it helps us recall our Colonial heritage," he said.

This May, as in years past, Spiegel will stand before his fellow Town Meeting members and speak on the article's behalf.

''There are those who 'wood shed' this article," Spiegel might say.

''People are 'sycamore' debate on this issue," he might add.

But since he's used those old saws previously, he'll probably hone his chops on a new line.

''I have to come up with new material," said Spiegel, who will defend the article as a member of the town's Advisory Committee. ''I don't like to repeat myself."

Carroll, a town employee who has held the appointment for four years, said, ''They make a joke about it, but it's the law, you know."

Indeed it is. Chapter 96, Section 296, of the Massachusetts General Laws mandates that every municipality in the Commonwealth ''shall annually chose [sic] one or more measures [sic] of wood and bark," one of any number of Colonial-era measures that remain on the books.

Charles Carroll, (no relation to George Carroll), who has worked in the state's Division of Standards for 46 years, said he has ''never had a call" from any town regarding this position or its duties.

''It hasn't been a very demanding appointment," said Maloney, the town's director of environmental health, who has held the measurer's post for two years.

Back at the turn of the millennium, a view took hold at Town Hall that tradition was due for an update. In May 2000, Town Meeting members convened to act on a warrant that made no mention of wood, bark, or their measurers.

A revolt ensued. At Town Meeting the following November, Spiegel and a colleague, A. Joseph Ross, filed a pair of petitions to restore the traditional Article Number 1. Both measures passed.

Amid debate on the matter, the town learned that the holder of the post at the time, Richard Bargfrede, had occasionally actually gone out to measure wood. Bargfrede, who retired in 2004 and now lives in Florida, recently described an episode that occurred 10 to 15 years ago.

A resident of South Brookline, believing that a cord of firewood that he'd ordered was short, called the town.

''I said, 'If you stack it, I'll measure it,' " Bargfrede recalled.

Using a tape that had been specially calibrated and certified by the state's Division of Standards, Bargfrede tested the stack to see if it measured 4 feet high by 4 feet deep by 8 feet wide. The verdict: ''It wasn't even close."

Armed with police powers that come with the job, Bargfrede notified the wood vendor that it must either make good on the delivery or reduce its price.

Instead, the company took back the wood.

''That eliminated the complaint," said Bargfrede. ''But I didn't let it die at that point." Bargfrede reported the company to the Division of Standards.

Bargfrede, recalling his 22 years of service in the measurer's post, also said, ''No one ever measured any bark. I never really understood why it was 'wood and bark.' "

His successor, George Carroll, takes standards seriously as well.

As Bargfrede did before him, Carroll serves as the town's sealer of weights and measures. At least once a year, he tests all 133 scales in Brookline's 23 food stores, all 100 scales and weights in its 10 pharmacies, all 183 pumps in its 12 gas stations, and every meter in its 180-odd taxicabs.

On each device, he then applies a lead seal that prevents tampering.

In another time, ensuring the integrity of commerce in wood, and, one supposes, bark, was an essential part of that function. It may be so yet again.

''I'm seeing more woodstoves installed," Maloney said.