Together until they are ready
Should parents tell schools when to separate twins?
Twins inhabit the womb together, learn to crawl, talk, and walk together and, increasingly, parents have been demanding they stay together in the classroom, too - clashing with decades-old practices in school districts across the state where twins are routinely separated, even over parents' objections.
Now, the state Senate is considering a bill to give parents the final say.
The measure follows in the footsteps of six other states that have taken similar action and yields to a rising number of parents who say that forcing twins to separate in the classroom can cause anxiety and depression, with crying, bed-wetting, withdrawal from classmates, and disengagement from classwork.
"You can't force twins into a timetable to separate," said Rachel DellaCroce, a Peabody mother of identical twin boys who will remain together in kindergarten this fall but face separation the following year. "Some kids may be ready in preschool, but others are not ready until fifth or sixth grade. Twins know when they are ready to be away from one another."
But many school officials and behavior specialists ardently stand by the practice of separating twins, saying it is the best way to foster a stronger sense of self and independence in the children and minimize the likelihood that they will cover for one another's academic weaknesses.
"Twins are never 50-50 in their skills and abilities," said Stuart Goldman, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School who also works at Children's Hospital Boston. "You want them to develop skills and competencies on their own."
The debate has raged across the country and in Internet discussion groups, especially as birth rates for twins and other multiples rise nationwide. Massachusetts is the nation's most prolific producer of multiples, with a twin birth rate of 4.5 for every 100 live births.
In the debate, there appear to be few clear answers. Research has been often inconclusive about the course schools should take, though advocates of giving parents control point to two recent studies. One found that twins separated at age 7 experienced more anxiety and emotional distress than twins kept together, but that by age 12 those behavioral differences disappeared.
The researchers concluded that it was sensible for educators to ask parents what placement was best for their twins and themselves.
The other study, conducted by the Institute of Psychiatry at King's College in London and the University of Wisconsin, advocated against blanket policies of separation while encouraging parental input because not all twins are ready for separation at the same time and forcing a split too soon could be damaging.
"Many people may think this might be micro-parenting . . . but this idea that twins won't be individuals if they stay in the same classroom is so misguided and not based on research," said Nancy L. Segal, a psychology professor and director of the Twins Studies Center at California State University, Fullerton.
This week, the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Club, which held its annual conference in Boston, featured a session on the issue of same or separate classrooms.
In many districts, separating multiples is not a practice that is clearly enunciated, and parents are taken by surprise when they receive their children's classroom assignments. Some districts keep multiples together for kindergarten and then separate for first grade, while others always separate. Schools within a district can also vary in approach.
At the only elementary school in Carlisle, the principal, teachers, and a psychologist will advocate for separation after meeting with parents on kindergarten placements, but Superintendent Marie Doyle said the district ultimately lets parents choose.
This past school year, kindergarten parents of a set of triplets and two sets of twins kept their children together, while parents of four sets of twins split up their children.
"The challenge with twins is that you have a dominant and submissive twin," Doyle said. "If you keep them together in same classroom, the dominant twin will continue to speak for the other sibling and make decisions."
The legislation follows a string of conflicts over twin placements around the region. Most recently, Somerville created a policy this year that allows for parental input after a few parents complained about inconsistencies among the district's schools.
In a case that attracted national media attention eight years ago, some Belmont parents persuaded school leaders to defer to parent wishes, although a few parents and school officials disagree about how well it is executed today.
DellaCroce, the Peabody mother, and Janna Knight, a Danvers mother of a set of fraternal boy and girl twins, began a campaign to give parents control about two years ago. They collected 1,000 signatures in support of a legislative change.
At the mothers' request, state Representative Bradley H. Jones, a North Reading Republican, sponsored the legislation, which is now in the Senate Rules Committee. The measure has already cleared the House. Jones said he is optimistic that the Senate will vote favorably.
At a gathering of about a dozen parents at DellaCroce's Peabody home this week, parents said they doubted they would keep their children together in the same classes throughout their school careers. But they said the power to decide that should be with them.
Sitting side-by-side on the living room floor with big smiles on their faces, 11-year-old twins Stephen and Elysia Hentschel of North Andover said they have not shared a classroom since the third grade when they moved to North Andover.
The school allowed them a year together to adjust to new surroundings.
"I prefer to be together," Stephen said. "I'd like to spend more time with my twin."
But Elysia hedged.
"It depends what's happening," said the girl, who is quieter than her brother but aspires to be a professional comedian someday. "If we moved to a new school or something bad happened in the family, I'd choose to be in the same classroom with him. But if he's being a motormouth again, I'd prefer separate." 