N.E.'s identity bolsters gay marriage tolerance

Word had gotten out that he was planning to vote yes, and Sirois, a retired math teacher, self-described born-again Christian, and state legislator from tiny Turner, was feeling the heat. He had already spoken to his pastor and offered to resign as deacon. Now he rose on May 3 to offer the church an explanation.

"I knew probably 90 percent of them didn't agree with me, and I knew they were going to be upset with me," said Sirois, 62, who struggled with his decision. "I said, 'I'm not trying to convince you of anything.' . . . I told them I was leaning toward accepting it, and that it was purely an issue of fairness, that I don't agree with the gay lifestyle, but that these people deserve the same rights."

With Maine's legalization of same-sex marriage last week, and a vote by legislators in New Hampshire that brought the Granite State to the brink of assent, New England cemented its position as the only part of the country where a block of states has granted marriage rights to same-sex couples.

Liberal politics clearly plays a part, but the reasons for the rapid transformation are more finely shaded than simple blue-state, red-state color coding, according to analysts. The distinctive thinking of religious New Englanders such as Sirois - their view of religion as private and personal, and their separation of their own beliefs from politics - has enabled change, said Mark Silk, a professor of religion in public life at Trinity College in Hartford.

"There's a very strong sense we have that there's a religious community, and that's where we do that thing, but then there's the public realm where we respect different views," Silk said.

Massachusetts and Connecticut established gay marriage after court decisions, in 2004 and 2008, respectively. In Vermont, legislators approved it, last month, overriding a veto by Governor Jim Douglas, a Republican. Governor John Lynch of New Hampshire, a Republican, will determine the fate of that state's bill. Maine voters are expected to have the final say on same-sex marriage: Conservative groups plan to petition to place the new law on the statewide ballot in November.

The sweeping makeover of its legal landscape makes New England a striking standout. Nationwide, support for same-sex marriage, while gaining steadily, is still a minority view. Only one state outside the region, Iowa, currently allows same-sex marriage; voters in California struck down a law supporting such marriages last fall.

Although the same-sex marriage movement started here five years ago, when Massachusetts became the first state to legalize it, its growing foothold in the region was not a foregone conclusion. Though politically liberal, New England has not been a hotbed of social revolution in the same vein as California. It has been better known, particularly in its northern reaches, for tough, taciturn, Yankee practicality.

The six states share a set of demographics that makes them fertile ground for an expanding view of marriage. Besides their large number of Democrats, they have higher education levels, a characteristic linked to approval of same-sex marriage. Maine, Vermont, and New Hampshire are also some of the whitest states in the country when polls show whites are less likely to oppose gay marriage.

For all they share, the states are also sharply distinctive, with individual factors contributing to their receptiveness. In Vermont, an influx of liberal transplants from New York in the 1970s and '80s set the stage for today's progressive mind-set. In New Hampshire, historically more conservative than its neighbors, though recently less so, a libertarian streak of "live free or die" defiance helps explain its pathway to gay marriage.

"It's that Robert Frost mentality," said Andy Smith, a political science professor at the University of New Hampshire. "You do what you want on your side of the fence, and I'll do what I want."

New England is also a collection of small states, where media markets overlap and families span borders. As a result, residents have been exposed to both the idea and the reality of legal, same-sex unions for almost a decade, since Vermont approved civil unions in 2000.

"It's a compact region where everyone was able to witness it in real time, and see that western civilization did not crumble," said Carisa Cunningham, a spokeswoman for Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders.

The presence of GLAD, based in Boston, might be the single biggest factor in the advancement of same-sex marriage through New England. The legal advocacy group has pushed for years in the region to end discrimination against gays and lesbians. Its lawyers fought the court cases that led to gay marriage in Connecticut and Massachusetts; its staffers spent years organizing public forums in Maine to build a foundation of support for marriage there.

Last fall, the group announced its "6 by 12" campaign, to legalize gay marriage in all six New England states by 2012. With five of the six campaigns completed or on track, the group plans to increase its work in Rhode Island after the departure of Governor Donald Carcieri, a Republican, in 2011.

To be sure, New England is less religious than other parts of the country. In a recent Gallup poll that asked people nationwide about the importance of religion in their daily lives, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine ranked 50th, 49th, and 48th among the states.

"The religious objection doesn't hold water here," said Smith, the UNH political science professor. "It's hard to get people excited - you say, 'God's wrath is going to come down,' and they say, 'Who?' "

But even in Maine and Massachusetts, nearly half of residents polled said religion was important to them. For them, acceptance or tolerance of same-sex marriage is more likely because, as New Englanders, they tend to separate their faith from policy matters, said Silk, the Trinity professor.

Catholics, who dominate the region's religious landscape, are especially careful, he said, because of their own history as a persecuted minority. In spite of the opposition of their church leaders, 43 percent support gay marriage, said Silk.

"It's built into Catholic consciousness that they were once disfavored and not given equal rights," he said. "Now that they're the majority, they're not going to impose their views on others."

More broadly, he said, New Englanders have roots in a democratic tradition that values equal treatment and neighborliness, from barn-raisings to spring town meetings.

"These are little towns where people get together to talk about snow removal," he said. "If people are different, you figure out how to live with them."

Correction: Because of a reporting error, a story in yesterday's Metro section about same-sex marriage in New England misstated the political party of Governor John Lynch of New Hampshire. He is a Democrat.