Message board: Share your thoughts on the Globe series Barbara's Story
In Barbara's Story, Globe reporter Patricia Wen and photographer Suzanne Kreiter told the story of Barbara Paul, a Boston-area woman forced to relinquish parental rights to her two sons after the state Department of Social Services determined she was an unfit mother. Share your reactions to the series and your thoughts on Paul's situation.
Read the series
Page 5
This is one of the best set of articles I have read in some time. I disagree that it is "politically correct"; I think it is fair to all parties and does not make judgements, which is simply good journalism, not political correctness. The system doesn't work as well as it could with more funding, but it does what it can. If people don't like the system it will take a lot of tax money to fix it (which I am in support of but the people of the state clearly are not). What this leaves me with is how welfare reform really hurts poor families; it was one of the nails in the coffin for Barbara's family. How can we force people to work in order to feed their children? Isn't that making children suffer for the failings of their parents?
Jeff, Somerville
Someone doesn't have to be over the age of 30 to know when someone is being a bad parent. Her house was disgusting, her children were neglected, and thankfully they now have someone who cares enough to get out of bed for them. Barbara was a mother at 22. There are people who are much older who also don't have children. All these people pointing the finger at the social worker don't realize that she was trained to do a job, and thankfully, she did it. If she didn't, these would be the same people pointing fingers and asking why. What if one of the kids got hurt or died in that house? Then the squallid conditions and lack of attention by DSS would be front page news. We are lucky to have people who make it their business and their career to try and save children from conditions like these boys were living in..
Emily, Boston
This series broke my heart. It is amazing to me that someone's children could be taken away on the basis, essentially, of poor hygiene. Barbara clearly needed help to make her life better, and help her raise her children in a better environment. The kind of help she needed was not the kind of help the State provided. DSS imposed bureaucratic "assistance," "goals" and "time frames" on this family, as though they were a program or a company that needed to post specific "results" or risk being shuttered. Their "assistance" was totally off the mark and the ruler by which they measured the family's situation was absurdly inappropriate. Removing children from a family should be a last resort, but it seems that this was the foregone conclusion in this case. By providing misguided "help" and setting irrelevant "goals," for Barbara, it seems as though DSS set her up to fail their test and lose her kids from the moment they became involved. Kids are resilient, and they are clearly in a loving home, and that is a good thing. But they were already in a loving home , though now they have fancier toys and better hair cuts. Is that how DSS judges success?
Stephanie, Amherst
This series was very heart wrenching. I can only imagine what it would be like to have to give my children away to others to raise, to watch them grow from little boys, to teenagers, to young men. So often in these times, it is easy for some mothers not to feel the bond between child and parent but not in this case. Barbara genuinely loves her children and has put them first beyond anything else however in her position, she was not able to care for them as they should be cared for. She was and is not capable of caring for other human beings as she is barely able to care for herself. I applaud their new parents for the patience, love and caring they are showing their boys. I wish for them a lifetime of togetherness and still for the boys to include their biological mother in their lives. I think that is also important for them as well as for Barbara.
Rosanne, Derry, NH
Although I work hard for what I have and for what I've accomplished, I've taken for granted the good fortune of being raised by a caring, loving, hard working family. Fortunately, as a result, I am spurned to raise my family to adhere to such values. Your "Barbara" series went a long way to exemplify the socioeconomic difficulties that exist with the family unit in our society. The State is charged with the responsibility of ensuring that children are cared for at a minimum level of humanity, yet need to appropriately balance this responsibility with parental rights and priviledge. Where is the line?? As parents, we need to stay sufficiently above this line not because a State Agency dictates, but because we as human beings understand the importance of doing so. I'm sitting here with my 1 year old daughter playing by my side and cannot fathom the possibility of neglecting her and as a result, having to surrender her custody. As a parent, this is painful reading but I believe everyone can benefit from it's content. Personally, I'm counting my blessings. Thank you for job well done.
Geoff, Franklin, MA
I read this story with great interest having been from a family where the father deserted the children. I will never forget that my mother was able to provide 3 meals a day, heat, hot water and clean clothes . I feel that it is apparent that Barbara loves her children but does not have the tools to be able to properly care for her children. Kudos to Anne & Jim for opening up their hearts and their home to 2 boys that hopefully will not continue the cycle of poverty in their lives. DSS is probably the most understaffed underpayed and overworked state agency. Great writing by the Globe without tainting the subjects.
Dan, Upton
Seems like Barbara continues to do right by her kids, even if that meant giving them to another couple to raise. She has my utmost respect in making that gut-wrenching, but appropriate decision for her children. I'm not a parent, but even I know that living in a filthy house, neglecting basic hygene, and dealing with depression are not the proper conditions for raising children. That 22-year-old social worker knew that too. Whether or not you think that's too young to make this type of decision, she made the right one for those kids.
Michele, Boston
I get the distinct feeling from your writing that we are supposed to feel sorry for this lazy disgusting beast. Thank God for Ann and Jim. Children and motherhood is a gift and a serious responsibility. Barbara has no one to blame but herself. Maybe if she did a little work during the day instead of watching soap operas and crocheting she would be able to sleep at night and not be so depressed. I am only sorry that my tax dollars supports her slovenly behavior.
nancy , scituate
I'm glad that Barbara Paul thought of her children's needs before her own. She made a huge sacrifice so that her children will be healthy and happy. I hope her sons remember that when they are grown. I wish more mothers would put their children first as she did.
Susan, Holliston
Sorry, but I agree with the comment that stated the DSS should provide families with services not middle class childless couples... Ms. Paul will feel the pangs of pain and loss with time as will her children. We have failed them and did not really close a case.. I hope those boys will see beyond the materialistic and formulate real family values that was why they were taken away..
C Barbara , needham, ma
