Everyone handles the end of spring break differently.
Some people accept that the time has come to return to school and look forward to the rest of the semester. Others begrudgingly shake off their hangovers and dread the first Monday back in class. And then there’s a rare, third kind of person: the one who decides that if there’s any time to act out a segment from an Animal Planet TV show, the last day of spring break is that time.
This is a story about that last kind of person.
According to a report from Gawker, employees from a St. Petersburg, Florida McDonald’s posted security footage online of a woman wearing only a thong as she rampages through the restaurant. And if you’ve ever had a wild racoon wander into and then get stuck inside your kitchen, you’re probably familiar with this scene.
Much like a rabid animal, the woman expresses desperate confusion (notice her banging her hands against her head) before exploring her surroundings with her face. Not satisfied with the safety of this unfamiliar space, she begins to lash out with seemingly no purpose, shoving registers and yanking on a refrigerator. Her rage accomplishes little, but perhaps she can make an escape?
Yes, a brilliant idea! She begins to rummage through a freezer, maybe looking for a way out of a situation that will undoubtedly haunt her for years to come. Sadly, there is no exit to be found and all her energy was spent on that tantrum. She has no choice but to accept her fate, find sustenance (in this case, soft-serve vanilla ice cream), and wait for her captors to arrive.
You might think this woman should be ashamed, and you're probably right. But she will almost certainly find solace in having proven that, even if you take the woman out of spring break, you can never take the spring break out of a woman.You can reach me at email@example.com. Follow me @dougsaffir