Thanks A Lot Spain, You Can’t Have Florida Back

A map of Florida.
A map of Florida.
iStock

On this day in 1821, Spain ceded Florida to the United States. In its 193 year history, Florida has had its share of stories that make Americans realize what we wouldn’t have if Spain hadn’t been so generous.

Think about all of the crazy “Florida Man” stories that we would be missing. One Twitter account keeps track of the countless stories that begin with the phrase, “Florida Man.”

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Florida Man Stabs Wife—Over a Hamburger

Florida Man Builds Mini Car for His Pet Parrot

Florida Man’s Bulldog Found Safe After Being Dognapped at Gunpoint

Florida Man Arrested for Giving People Wedgies

Florida Man Squawks, Claims He’s a Pterodactyl as Police Chase Him Through Legoland

Florida has also brought on its fair share of political scandal.

The 2000 Bush v. Gore Presidential election, “I demand a recount” scandal

‘Cocaine congressman’ Trey Radel resigned

Mike Horner, Florida Republican Rep, Resigns After Prostitution Scandal

Florida state Rep. Bob Allen guilty in bathroom-sex case

State Sen. Lee Constantine Is Arrested On DUI Charge

Florida seems to breed all kinds of scandals and terrifying stories.

Casey Anthony and her trial

Miami Cannibal Told Victim, ‘I’m Going to Kill You’

Owner Calls 911 After Cat Goes Berserk in Florida Home

Golfer escapes after alligator attack

Human Foot Found in Shoe at Jupiter Island

And this, now so ironic and permanent, Lebron tattoo:

Lastly, if you are afraid of the zombie apocalypse, you better move to Florida because they have a bill to protect you against it.

Florida, thanks just for being you. Spain, keep your paws off it.