Waking up to the reality

BLACKSBURG, Va. -- "I think it's going to be harder next week," Virginia Tech senior Emily Ricketts whispered yesterday as she strolled with her mother, Glenda, past the makeshift memorials to the victims of Monday's shootings.

As the crush of journalists that descended on the campus earlier this week slowly thinned, the two were among many here preparing for the school's long, painful journey back to normalcy after the worst mass shooting in US history -- a journey many expected would become more difficult as the campus moves out of the media spotlight.

"We're numb right now," said the Rev. Kelly Sisson , greeting students, faculty, parents, and others as they entered the War Memorial Chapel, where clergy handed out prayers for peace from 10 major world religions. "Some of us will wake up sooner than others. But what we do now will help us live th rough this and live past it."

Part of the healing process has come in the form of unofficial memorials still sprouting up across campus, each of them painstakingly crafted by students who lost friends and professors.

In front of towering Burruss Hall, the main administration building, the sweet smell of memorial candles yesterday wafted across the Drillfield, the grassy expanse in the center of campus where the university has laid 32 square stones in an arch to commemorate those who were killed.

Nearby, the grief-stricken continued to place bouquets, stuffed animals, photo collages of the victims, small wooden crosses, and orange and maroon beads, Virginia Tech's school colors.

"Caitlin you will be missed," read one memorial to Caitlin Hammaren from her sorority sisters at Kappa Kappa Gamma. They also left a T-shirt, emblazoned with "Forever our sister" and "We love you, Caitlin," that each had signed.

Hammaren, 19, of Westtown, N.Y., was among those murdered by fellow student Seung-Hui Cho in Norris Hall just a few yards away, where yesterday crews continued the grim business of cleaning up the classrooms that will be closed for the remainder of the semester.

The tight-knit community continued to close ranks. On Main Street in Blacksburg, crews began hanging massive orange and maroon ribbons on lamp posts, preparing for students to return to classes next week.

Many others felt the need to reach out from far away. At the student center were hung banners with words of solidarity sent from universities as far away as Florida and Missouri. One memorial bouquet was mailed from "Angela and Chandler" in Toledo, Ohio, addressed simply to "VT Memorial Site."

Some felt the need to come in person from far and wide. Cesar Ausejo , 19, a Christian missionary from Peru who is a member of the group Youth With a Mission, set up a table on the Drillfield with a sign "Free Hugs and Hershey Kisses."

Ausejo, who has done missionary work in Eastern Europe and this summer plans to go to Turkey and Albania, was approached by countless students looking for comfort.

"They come up and say I need a hug, and we hug every one of them," Ausejo said.

Those who have been touched themselves by unspeakable violence came hundreds of miles to offer prayers and comfort -- including three Amish men who yesterday drove six hours from Lancaster County, Pa., the scene of a horrific schoolhouse shooting last year,

"We came to request peace and forgiveness," said Alvin , dressed in his traditional Amish black trousers, vest, and straw hat, paying his respects before the memorials and praying in the school chapel before heading home.

"We wanted to thank the nation for what they did for us."

Asked what lessons the community of Nickel Mines, Pa., could impart to Virginia Tech, Alvin, who declined to give his last name, responded simply: "You need to take it a day at a time."

Sisson, the Virginia Tech chaplain, agreed that the healing process cannot be rushed. "The important thing is not to look for too many answers, but to keep asking questions," she said.

"Cliches are just patches. We need time to heal."

Ricketts, who said she asked her mother to come down from Richmond yesterday "to spend some time" with her and her boyfriend, believes the days ahead will further test the Blacksburg community.

"It's all so surreal now because the media is still here," said the human development and psychology major.

"When the media leaves and all the attention is gone, it will really sink in."

Bryan Bender can be reached at bender@globe.com.