Matchmaking takes a high tech approach

For South Asians, an updated search

LOS ANGELES - It wasn't how Dhaval Thaker, 27, expected to meet his wife. Born in India but raised in Artesia, a suburb southeast of downtown Los Angeles, Thaker assumed he would find his soul mate on his own.

But two years ago, while Thaker was in India, his parents posted a matrimonial ad in a local newspaper. About 30 women, or rather their parents, sent him their matrimonial resumes. Thaker initially objected, but his parents insisted. It was tradition.

"To me, biodata is just a piece of paper with information," Thaker said. "I didn't really believe in it."

Part resume, part personal ad, and part family tree, biodata can cut through the time-consuming process of finding a spouse by turning it into something akin to a job interview: What are his qualifications? Is she a good match? What is his income potential?

Used primarily by South Asians in arranged marriages, biodata emphasizes compatibility, education, and family history, including caste, more than romance. There are also physical factors to be considered, such as complexion and, occasionally, blood type.

Even among assimilating South Asian Americans like Thaker, the exchange of biodata is popular. In fact, some believe that the deeply rooted tradition is on the rise in part because of the rapid pace of modern life and the increasing popularity of matrimonial websites.

Still, it can require a bit of research. Thaker, a manager at an Artesia ice cream shop, remembers feeling frustrated after interviewing many spousal candidates whose biodata proved less than interesting. But there was one resume that appealed to the former disc jockey. It was from a Patel woman (a lower caste than Brahman), who seemed outgoing and loved music.

"She was probably the last one (I saw)," Thaker said of Jignasa. "It was like love at first sight. . . . I was like, whoa!" That was Sept. 15, 2006. Less than two months later, they were married in India.

For those who share Thaker's initial reluctance, meeting prospective spouses either through the biodata exchanges or with parental help can become increasingly attractive with age.

"A lot of people that might have been against it in their early 20s rationalize it in their 30s when they realize that it's no different than a personal ad," said Purnima Mankekar, a women's- and South Asian-studies professor at the University of California, Los Angeles.

Generations ago, South Asian marriages were less complicated; people married neighbors or distant relatives. As India became more urbanized and people moved abroad to work, families found themselves in unfamiliar communities where finding compatible spouses became trickier, Mankekar said.

Relatives and friends turned into matrimonial search parties and the cross-country exchange of biodata became more common. Unlike personal ads and popular Internet dating websites that rely heavily on personal information, biodata largely is focused on family history, Mankekar said. That's because it is based on the premise that marriage is not a union between two individuals but between two families.

"What else can you do?" said Rhythm Shah, 28, who upon graduating San Jose State University posted his biodata on a popular India-based matrimonial website. "Finding a life partner, you can't do that in a club."