Candidates get funny, really

Even in the heat of a presidential campaign, Barack Obama and John McCain managed to tell some jokes at their own expense -- and fire off some zingers at each other and each other's supporters -- at a charity dinner Thursday night.

The occasion was the fund-raising event run by the Archdiocese of New York to benefit underprivileged children and named for former Governor Al Smith.

Some of the lines were funny enough that it makes you wonder why those speechwriters can't pen their campaign speeches, which can be mind-numbingly boring at times.

A few of McCain's lines:

-- He said he would follow conservative columnist William Kristol's advice to fire his entire campaign staff: "All of their positions will now be held by a man named Joe The Plumber."

-- He said Democrats are claiming that Joe Wurzelbacher doesn't make enough to be hit with a tax increase under Obama's proposals. "What they don't know is that Joe the Plumber recently signed a very lucrative contract with a wealthy couple to handle all the work on all seven of their houses."

-- "Even in this room full of proud Manhattan Democrats, I can't shake the feeling that some people here are pulling for me. I'm delighted to see you here tonight, Hillary."

A few of Obama's lines:

-- "I got my name Barack from my father.... it's actually Swahali for 'That one.' '"

-- "Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father, Jorel, to save the planet Earth."

-- "I was originally told we'd be able to move this outdoors to Yankee Stadium. Could somebody tell me what happened to the Greek columns that I requested?"