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Candidates get funny, really

Posted by Foon Rhee, deputy national political editor October 17, 2008 10:33 AM

Even in the heat of a presidential campaign, Barack Obama and John McCain managed to tell some jokes at their own expense -- and fire off some zingers at each other and each other's supporters -- at a charity dinner Thursday night.

The occasion was the fund-raising event run by the Archdiocese of New York to benefit underprivileged children and named for former Governor Al Smith.

Some of the lines were funny enough that it makes you wonder why those speechwriters can't pen their campaign speeches, which can be mind-numbingly boring at times.


A few of McCain's lines:

-- He said he would follow conservative columnist William Kristol's advice to fire his entire campaign staff: "All of their positions will now be held by a man named Joe The Plumber."

-- He said Democrats are claiming that Joe Wurzelbacher doesn't make enough to be hit with a tax increase under Obama's proposals. "What they don't know is that Joe the Plumber recently signed a very lucrative contract with a wealthy couple to handle all the work on all seven of their houses."

-- "Even in this room full of proud Manhattan Democrats, I can't shake the feeling that some people here are pulling for me. I'm delighted to see you here tonight, Hillary."


A few of Obama's lines:

-- "I got my name Barack from my father.... it's actually Swahali for 'That one.' '"

-- "Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father, Jorel, to save the planet Earth."

-- "I was originally told we'd be able to move this outdoors to Yankee Stadium. Could somebody tell me what happened to the Greek columns that I requested?"

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"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS."

"Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to RIGHT THEMSELVES BY ABOLISHING THE FORMS to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of ABUSES AND USURPATIONS, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them UNDER ABSOLUTE DESPOTISM, IT IS THEIR RIGHT, IT IS THEIR DUTY, TO THROW OFF SUCH GOVERNMENT, AND TO PROVIDE NEW GUARDS FOR THEIR FUTURE SECURITY." -The Declaration of Independence

"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be." -Thomas Jefferson, 1816

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Posted by Liberty October 17, 08 11:33 AM
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What the hell is Liberty commenting on now?! Carolina no less. Save it for some other time and place. Both speechees were very funny, but also had many truths in them. Worth an encore.

Posted by otis October 17, 08 12:42 PM
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Liberty,

Jefferson was an over-rated blowhard with serious issues! Our local boy John Adams and Washington had it all figured out 230 years ago and lost out to an "academic"!!

Posted by Tim October 17, 08 01:23 PM
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Liberty,

Jefferson was an over-rated blowhard with serious issues! Our local boy John Adams and Washington had it all figured out 230 years ago and lost out to an "academic"!!

Posted by Tim October 17, 08 01:26 PM
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John Adams was a literal monarchist who instituted a near-tyranny that included the use of federal militias against American citizens, a pointless near-war with France and immigrant-bash that nearly destroyed the First Amendment. All of that is only "nearly" because Jefferson finally booted the maniac out of office.

Posted by jr October 17, 08 01:44 PM
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I love the Boston Globe readers. As a transplant to Florida, I'm surrounded by people who never heard of John Adams or Thomas Jefferson...let alone could they debate what these gentlemen said. And no, I'm not talking about the Cuban immigrants...I'm talking about those born and raised here. Immigrants who seek citizenship have to pass a test...God bless knowledge & thought!

Posted by hot & humid October 17, 08 02:05 PM
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JR,

Ignorance is bliss, but arrogance is something I wont tolerate, especially when it comes to John Adams.

John Adams was one of the best presidents this country has had the priveledge of being governed under... JR, you must work for the media, because Monarchist was a term appointed to Adams by the Media. Yes he was unpopular, yes he refused to become part of a party, but what you don't know JR, is that because of Adams, the US of A had the chance to become what we have become.

Did you know, it was John Adam's Idea to become independent from Britain.

Did you know that John Adam's defended the British who were involved in the
Boston Massacre... and Won? He stood up for American ideals and beliefs, despite being in a position defending a popular enemy.

IF we entered into War with France, the US of A would have failed. Yes it almost happened, but he had people from the Federalist party pushing for war and people from the Republican party saying he was a war mongerer.

If you actually examine his actual approach he strengthened the Navy, strengthened Coastal defences, and REFUSED TO ALLOW A PERMANENT ARMY to be assembled.

never in the history of the United States of America has somebody sacrificed so much of his life's work (except for any soldier in the USA armed forces) for the good of this great nation.

The best example of a patriot of the USA hands down.

Read your history books before you disgrace one of the most important men in
American history.

Posted by Shawn October 17, 08 02:28 PM
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McCain outdid Obama at the dinner. Its obvious now that the polls are tightening, people are not being fooled by political rhetoric.

Posted by Marko October 17, 08 02:47 PM
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