Win/win
A PRESIDENTIAL primary year is a lesson in winning and losing, although it's not always immediately clear which is which. John Kerry might have listened to the naysayers quoting abysmal fall poll numbers and dropped out as a loser before winning in Iowa. Dick Gephardt might have read his fourth place showing in that state as a temporary low rather than a signal to take his political curtain call -- and his supporters would have cheered.
"You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em," Kenny Rogers sang in his song "The Gambler," and choosing is one of life's great challenges, whether a person is deciding to stay in a political race, a relationship, a job, or a new pair of tight shoes.
"Can I make this work?" is the basic question, and it may go unanswered for months, or even years, as ego tangles with common sense, economics competes with dreams, and doing "the right thing" feels all wrong.
The shoes may look so good that a person feels obliged to mess with shoe stretchers, corn pads, bunion cushions, or arch supports to try to make them comfortable. Some people go so far as to have foot surgery.
Eventually -- and let's hope before the knife -- there comes the moment of acceptance when one either achieves a workable compromise with a new insole or embraces the fact that one has bombed and must move on in another pair of loafers. Either way, the decision is cathartic, and it is not deciding that can be more torturous than the shoes.
That's particularly true in a fractious romantic relationship or an ill-fitting job. One invests so much time and energy to be with the beloved, or to sit at the big desk, that one fears looking like a fool for acknowledging even slight queasiness.
One has usually also invested the time and energy of one's long-suffering friends, who have followed every nuance of the move and may have thrown a party celebrating one's happiness and success. Giving back the champagne is out of the question.
But friends, being long-suffering, often figure out what's wrong without being told and might even pop another, better bottle of bubbly when a pal finally figures out who he or she is.
That's a fine place to be, even if the route is circuitous and rough, and might be considered "failure" in a winner-obsessed culture. Writers whose novels get toxic reviews might prove to be ahead of their time, with raves from the next generation. Or they might learn more about their craft producing something that doesn't work than they would from a best-seller.
"Knowing what to throw away and knowing what to keep," sang Kenny Rogers. That should be the goal, particularly this year -- for candidates and voters alike.
