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Don't go in the water: The ocean is a terrifying place

Posted by Doug Saffir  February 20, 2014 09:56 AM

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Whether you're a casual beach goer or just someone who likes fishing, most people have a similar relationship with the ocean. They pay a visit a few weekends each year and enjoy some uneventful time by the water.

That all seems innocent enough, but it often involves forgetting this one definitive rule: The ocean is a horribly scary place that will crush you without question or remorse.

Don't agree? Let's take a look at some examples (Warning: there is some strong language in the videos embedded below).

First up, this video posted to Reddit's /r/videos page shows why you're never safe, even when fishing from a boat:

See? Just when you think you're harmlessly reeling in some tuna, there's a mammoth killer whale that's eight times your size that has a plan of its own.

If commercial fishing is more your game, don't think using a large net makes you safe. Giant sea creatures have no sympathy for the way you make your living.

The whale shark in this video (also posted to Reddit's /r/videos) has decided it's going to help itself to your haul and there's nothing you can do about it. On average, whale sharks are 30 feet long and weigh 20,000 pounds. That animal could pull so hard on the net that your boat would sink and it wouldn't even notice.

Of course, there are people who think that kayaking on the open water would be a fun afternoon activity! Don't be that person. That person is insane. Do yourself a favor and just go to Youtube and search "kayak whale". You'll find plenty of videos like this:

When that whale surfaces at around the 50 second mark, it's not popping up to say hello. It's reminding you that it is enormous and could swat you like you would swat a fly.

The ocean is the worst. Don't ever go there.

Reach me at douglas.saffir@globe.com. Follow me @dougsaffir

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