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In the quiet of her suburban home that night, Julia made herself an apple martini and thought about Sabrina -- a person again, not a patient -- letting the emotional impact of her death wash over her.

''I kept thinking about her husband raising their son on his own," said Julia, while her boys, 4-year-old Eran and 14-year-old Michael, slept in their bedrooms down the hall. ''It's so sad."

Julia had also learned something important about herself: that she has what it takes to handle severe trauma cases. Even at the devastating climax of Sabrina's care, she had remained clear-headed and professional.

And, looking ahead to the day when she would take charge of such a case, she had ideas about how to improve on what she had witnessed in the ICU.

''It's not about who's right and wrong," she said. ''It's about caring for the patient. I have my own views."

Part 4: Time comes to perform on her own

Scott Allen can be reached at allen@globe.com.