A ceremonial event evolves into wedding

For Judi Burgess, a single word changed everything.

She and her partner, Rebecca Rehm, had been planning a commitment ceremony for months before the Supreme Judicial Court decision legalizing gay marriage.

Some of the people close to the couple were not quite sure how to treat the event.

But a wedding -- that, they could relate to.

Her mother had ''no intention whatsoever" of leaving North Carolina to attend her commitment ceremony, Burgess said.

''But once she got the wedding invitation, and she could see how supportive Rebecca's parents were about the planning and the issues around catering, and the reception, and the ceremony site, and the guest list, she couldn't help but come," Burgess said. ''It's harder to say, 'I'm not coming to your wedding' vs. 'I'm not coming to your commitment ceremony.' She knew what a wedding was, and she knew it was legal in our state, and so she came."

Burgess, 39, deputy director of labor relations for the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority, and her partner were the first same-sex couple to get married in their town of Millbury.

They married on May 17, the first day gay and lesbian marriages were allowed, because they were worried the court decision would be reversed. The extra support she feels after the legalization of gay marriage has extended beyond the wedding day.

''When you say you're married, the support you get from your community and your family and friends is just enormous," she said.

''It surprised me how important it was to have a license," she said. ''I didn't think it would matter. People say, 'It's just a piece of paper, what does it mean?' I used to say that. But it validates your relationship in a way I didn't think was important before. You're a complete person, just like everyone else who falls in love and gets married."