An unpopular stance alienates a gay male

Brian Brandt, 33, remembers where he was a year ago, when the first same-sex marriage licenses were issued in Massachusetts. ''I was at home," he said. ''I think I had the warshades down and I was listening to talk radio, and I was mourning the loss of an important part of our country's foundation."

It is not the response many have come to expect from a gay man, but Brandt, who does psychology research at Boston University, is proud to buck the stereotypes. He is a member of the Ward 3 Republican Committee in the North End. He keeps a picture of Ronald Reagan on his desk. And he believes the framers of the Massachusetts Constitution meant to restrict marriage between men and women.

''Before I am a gay male, for lack of a better term, I'm an American," he said. And endorsing gay marriage, he believes, leads to a slippery slope and weakens a great institution.

''We do have the right to marry," he said. ''We just have to marry someone of the opposite gender."

Brandt would rather see gay people fight for something broader: protections for domestic partners in all sorts of nontraditional arrangements, such as elderly siblings who live together. ''We all need to sit down and stop being selfish," he said.

The argument does not usually stand well with other gay men. Brandt has been called a self-hater. He does not care.

''I've never been one to have my views decided for me," he said. ''I think it's easy for them to just plug into what's being told to them."

He has not attended any gay weddings. If invited, he would decline.

But he doubts it will come up.

''With my point of view, my friends are 99 percent straight," he said. ''So if I go to any weddings, it's the kind that are supposed to happen."