Pope's will a reflection on close of long reign

VATICAN CITY -- In his last will and testament, Pope John Paul II acknowledged his deteriorating health as the new millennium began and prayed for guidance to help him recognize how long he must continue to serve, a reflection that could be interpreted as his once having pondered resignation.

The document -- released by the Vatican yesterday as 200 heads of state and several million mourners gathered for what was expected to be the largest funeral in history today -- offered musings on the 1981 attempt on his life, the fall of the Iron Curtain, and his own aging during a papacy that coursed through the history of the late 20th century.

Hand-written in his native Polish at different points during his 26-year pontificate, the ''spiritual testament" left no material property to anyone and asked that all of his personal notes be burned.

The 15-page document mentioned only two living people by name: his beloved personal secretary and fellow Pole, Archbishop Stanislaw Dziwisz, and the chief rabbi of Rome, Elio Toaff, who welcomed him to Rome's synagogue in 1986. The visit to the synagogue, the first ever by a pope, was a hallmark of a papacy dedicated to interfaith understanding and healing.

The will is a list of entries that began in 1979, the year after he was elected the first non-Italian pope in 455 years. It traces the dramatic sweep of history that he encountered in his life, from the Communist persecution of Christians in his homeland to the force of the Polish ''Solidarity" movement. The pope's quiet support for that movement helped set in motion the collapse of communism.

The final entry was in 2000, when the effects of Parkinson's disease were taking hold and beginning the degenerative process that would end in his death. The pope reflected in this passage how his illness and aging would be a time of torment and testing for him and how he prayed that he would endure and fulfill what he saw as a divine calling to fulfill his role as the pope to the end of his life.

During the ''Jubilee Year" that marked the 2,000th year since the birth of Jesus, the pope wrote, ''According to the plans of Divine Providence, I was allowed to live in the difficult century that is retreating into the past, and now, in the year in which my life reaches 80 years ('octogesima adveniens'), it is time to ask oneself if it is not the time to repeat with the biblical Simeon, 'Nunc dimittis.' "

The biblical phrase in Latin refers to Simeon, described in the Gospel according to Luke as an old man ''waiting to die," who said in the Temple in Jerusalem after blessing the child Jesus, ''Now, Master, you may let your servant go."

Veteran Vatican insiders, biblical scholars and Catholic news organizations, including the Washington-based Catholic News Service, suggested that the passage could be interpreted as the pope pondering the possibility of resigning.

John Paul also wrote that he hoped the Lord ''would help me to recognize how long I must continue this service to which he called me the day of 16 October, 1978."

But the passage, written in the style of an internal dialogue, appeared to answer those doubts by saying he left his fate in the hands of God, to ''call me back when He Himself wishes."

In the lengthy 2000 entry, the pope also mentioned the 1981 attempt on his life. He called his survival a ''miracle."

Each of the entries in his will was written during the period of Lent, a time of reflection during the church calendar that precedes Easter.

The rapid deterioration of the pope's health through Easter and his struggle to participate in the Stations of the Cross on the last Good Friday of his life were seen as spiritually fitting for a pope who saw his own suffering through the prism of the suffering of Jesus on the cross.

Rev. John Wauck, a professor at the Pontifical University of the Holy Cross, said that the pope's death in many ways could be seen as ''the final Station of the Cross" in his life.

Wauck explained, ''It's the end of the way of the cross, but not the end of the story. As Christians we believe death is not the end. The pope's words will live on and his teaching will live on and he will live on, for those who believe, through the hope of and faith in the resurrection."

The funeral today at St. Peter's Square was to be followed by the burial of the pope in the crypt beneath the basilica that holds the bodies of popes throughout history. Historians said it was the largest gathering of world leaders in history, an extraordinary interface between the world's temporal power and a spiritual leader of its 1.1 billion Catholics.

The pope had reached out to the world in his papacy and had personally met with leaders from nearly every country represented at the funeral. At times, he disagreed with many of them, notably in his staunch opposition to the US-led war in Iraq as ''unjust" and ''disproportionate."

Religious leaders from all faiths and denominations of Christianity were to attend. It was to be the first time that the world leader of the Anglican Church, Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, attended a funeral of a pope since the English split from Rome nearly 500 years ago at the time of King Henry VIII. The service also was bringing together some of the top clerics of the Greek and Russian Orthodox churches, as well as leading Muslim and Jewish clerics from the world over.

But equally impressive was the number of ordinary mourners. During four days of public viewing, an estimated 1.5 million mourners passed by the body of the pope to pay their last respects, at a rate of 20,000 per hour. The lines clogged the streets around the Vatican with people who had flown in from around the world, and more than 2 million were estimated to be coming for the funeral (Rome's population is 3 million). Many were following the funeral on live television and on large screens at 25 different locations.

The Vatican anticipated that 300,000 mourners would pack into St. Peter's Square itself, and early this morning tens of thousands could be seen camping on the streets around the Vatican to ensure a place at the outdoor Mass.

Just a few hours before the Vatican closed the Bronze Door of the Basilica of St. Peter last night, ending the public viewing, Horacio Velazquez, 28, was shuffling along with the throng and preparing to enter to pay his respects. Holding a Mexican flag and his suitcase, he had just arrived from the airport and rushed to get in line. An unemployed English teacher, he said he sold his 1996 Nissan pickup truck to pay for his ticket.

''I had to be here to honor his life, to say goodbye," said Velazquez, from Queretaro, north of Mexico City.

He said he hoped the world leaders of governments and other faiths were there not just to mourn the pope, but to hear his teachings.

''I hope the leaders take the most important part of the pope's message to heart, which is freedom of all kinds," he said. ''Not just democratic freedom, but also the freedom to make choices for a better life, to give a chance to everyone, especially the poor all over the world. That is the pope's gift to us, all of us."

Globe correspondent SofiaCeleste contributed to this report.Sennott can be reached atsennott@globe.com