The new housing boom

"A North Carolina developer plans a subdivision called 'Brookline,' with 180 houses that resemble Brookline mansions, on farmland outside Charlotte, N.C. . . . The development's website calls it 'a descendant of one of the most famous neighborhoods in America.' " - Boston.com, April 21

PROVIDING a welcome uptick in the housing market, developer Roland Flirps has joined forces with mystery writer Dennis Lehane and Miramax Films to build a new facsimile neighborhood smack in the middle of Charlotte. It will be called "Southie," after the Boston neighborhood that serves as its model.

"We're talking verisimilitude with a capital 'veri,' " Lehane told a press conference at Lucky's Lounge, a watering hole in Boston's Southie. "Can't stand those squeaky-clean Disneyland neighborhoods they're knocking together outside Charlotte. Feels like you're living in a remake of some anemic Margaret Rutherford flick. All parlor and no pizzazz. Living in a place like that gives you gas, you know."

Southie, N.C., will be patterned cinderblock by cinderblock after its namesake, a neighborhood known throughout the film and literary worlds for violent crimes and mass drug busts.

A Miramax spokesman said the studio was still deciding whether to provide discreet plaques identifying dramatic crime hot spots.

"People today crave authenticity," said Flirps.

Meanwhile, plans develop apace for "Cape Cod Finsk," a new community in rural Lapland.

"We first came up with the idea at a Development Commission meeting," said Danuta Pokka, land and reindeer manager of Österbotten province. "Someone asked, 'What in the name of Thor can you do with tundra that will attract the tourist buck?' It was one of those 'Aha!' moments. Someone shouted, 'Dye it beige and market it as beachfront!' "

Projects on the drawing board include old, charming "tear-down" houses (to be replaced in a year by pre-fab mansions), homemade ice cream stands, and quaint little villages here and there. The target population will have a median age of 24 in the summer and 85 in winter. The first village to be built will be Provincetown, which Pokka describes as "a combination of funky and outrageous!"

Offshore islands planned for the Baltic Sea include Marthka's Vineyard and Nanktukket.

Pokka feels Lapland's reputation as the home to Santa Claus will provide a natural tie-in for the Christmas Tree Shops that dot the "other" Cape.

Best of all, he says, the midnight sun will be a huge draw for beachgoers.

Harvard University sees the replica neighborhood market in a different, more sumptuous light.

In a prospectus unveiled during high tea at the Harvard Faculty Club, the university made public a new investment project, Harvard Square II, to be constructed next year in Dubai.

"When you own the rights to one of the toniest brands in the world, it just makes sense to market that brand for all it's worth," said McFearsson van der Dorkke IV, the university's director of capital development and imprimatur. "And taking a 32-cent cut on every Harvard sweatshirt sold is one heck of a low return compared to what we have planned for the Emirates."

Rising on a reclaimed stretch of ocean bed, Harvard Square II will feature a two-thirds scale reproduction of Harvard College ("Fortunately, they're shorter over there," commented van der Dorkke), and such well-known landmarks as Weeks Bridge, Mr. Bartley's Burger Cottage, and The Coop.

The project is aimed at Middle Eastern billionaire boomers who have always admired the university and what it stands for. "These are people who own the DVDs of 'Love Story' and 'Good Will Hunting,' " said van der Dorkke. "People who know the value of a superior education."

Although certain Harvard Square landmarks will be absent, like the Harvard Hillel, attention to detail is uppermost in the planners' minds. For example, Harvard Square II's rendition of Widener Library will include hand-painted reproductions of the John Singer Sargent murals and facsimile outer spines of every book in its collection.

Daniel Klein and Thomas Cathcart are the authors of "Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar" and "Aristotle and an Aardvark Go to Washington."