My next career awaits

I The worst thing isn't really the decor as much as the smells. I can get over the extremely poor taste as that won't convey with the house, but geez some times I wonder what died in the houses we are looking at and how long did they leave it there.

It is amazing to me how many people think 50 glade candles will cover anything. I have actually walked into a house and turned right around and left because I could just not stand to be there any longer.

Wallpaper on the ceiling is pretty dreadful. I've only seen that once, but it was a dark, ugly print, and the room felt devoid of light.

Pepto-bismol pink carpeting is another bad choice - I once looked at an apartment that had the entire living area carpeted in plush pink carpeting. It was in excellent condition, but it was the most awful color, and it was the kind of carpeting that had a bit of a sheen to it. It was unspeakably gaudy.

I do wonder sometimes - in fifteen years will all these granite and stainless kitchens feel dated?

Wow- I lived in that pink shag apartment! At least one of them. To their credit at least the shiny pink shag matched the salmon and burgundy bathroom fixtures. Although it really didn't matter since the entire two bedroom apartment only had one window.

The two worst open house decorating disasters I've been to, other than the ubiquitous "everything wood paneled" and "ashtray houses" were:

One that was entirely done in clown figurines and mirrors. It was truly awe-inspiring. I called all of my friends and told them to go to the open house the next day. It was almost like a crazy art installation.

And the "Christmas in July" house that was filled to the ceilings with christmas tschotkes and animatronic santas year round. There were literally pathways you had to walk to navigate the house amidst the "decor."

Oh, wait, one more- although I am not sure this counts as decorating. The house where the "master suite" was an uncarpeted portion of the unfinished unlevel basement that had been drywalled-in (but no door) with a toilet next to the bed. They were courteous enough to offer a "carpet allowance" to potential buyers. Too bad it didn't come with a bed-mounted sump pump allowance. Although living that close to my power tools is something I have always craved.

We saw two standouts in our house hunt: the first was a kitchen stuck in the 1960s done entirely in harvest gold - we only learned the name of the color as we described to our baby boomer parents the atrocity of it all! The second was a themed basement with red and black linoleum flooring themed with playing cards, theater masks, a top hat and cane, etc. When was that ever in style?

Recently a nearby Victorian home went on the market. It was a former eyesore in a horrific turquoise blue exterior, and stuck out like a sore thumb among a neighborhood of homes in more tasteful colors. The current owners just painted it beautiful shades of cream and khaki and the whole look has been substantially upgraded! Isn't it amazing what some pottery-barn-esque paint can do?!

Sellers should realize that all the over-done kitchens in cherry and granite can be very dark and already look dated to us. In a tougher economy who wants to live and work in a dark gloomy kitchen? The bright white and marble look is much nicer but a more classic "plain" kitchen from the 1990s can be great. We're shopping for a house now and the "updated" or "high end" kitchens add far too much to the price of a house. Lighting and overdone bathrooms are other issues that are more personalized than sellers like to think.

Little girl rooms in bright pink with princess and butterflies everywhere or boys rooms overdone on sports or other themes. While I have kids, these rooms are usually sensory overload and end up looking really small.

I agree with ready and willing buyer, cherry and granite is enough already. I hate to say it, but the first thing I think of is painting those cherry cabinets white. And, the stainless appliances or commercial appliances are getting old. I'm starting to want appliances that blend in or have character (Aga, Molteni).

Overall, go back to basics and the "less is more" attitude when selling.

What a fun topic!

Agreed on the cherry, granite, and stainless. That look may be going the way of the harvest gold fridge and avocado bathtub.

One remodeling sin is creating an "open floor plan" in a house that wasn't originally meant for one. In a large new home it looks welcoming and spacious, but I've seen capes and other petite homes in which walls were removed to create an "open living space" and when all you see is one big room and then a few bedrooms and a bath you think, "Is that it?". It's a look that makes a big house feel bigger but makes a small house feel much, much, much smaller.

The worst decorating move I've seen is wall to wall carpeting in a bathroom. Yuck!

I agree completely about the open floor plan - in the wrong house, it makes the living space feel like one big hallway. I think a lot of smaller, older homes feel cozier with a more traditional floor plan. It can also be hard to arrange furniture in a really open plan in a way that doesn't look kind of random or scattered.

The other drawback to opening things up too much in a small space is the loss of separation, private space, and sound buffers that can make it easier for two people to share that space and do their own thing.

I saw a house a few weeks ago. They had completely different tastes in color, decor, and in cooking (judging by the smells.) The child's room had decals all over the walls with bright blue and yellow paint. The living room was mint green and the kitchen a blinding shade of yellow. The kitchen was never updated from 1973, the year the house was built.

I bought it the next day.

This shouldn't be surprising to anyone who thinks to ask the right questions. The roof was brand new (good for 30 years), the heating system was also new (converted from oil to gas), and also had new 200 amp electric. The home inspection revealed no problems that hadn't already been addressed, or would only cost a couple hundred to handle down the road.

I don't care if the previous owners loved curry for breakfast lunch and dinner, or if they chose to paint their house in colors I would never consider. Paint is $15 per gallon, and when their furniture and clothes are out, so are the smells associated with the home. And I don't need them to stage it for me, the casual shopper trapsing around their private quarters, as if they need to apologize for their tastes and style choices. My imagination doesn't need training wheels.

The weekend we closed on the property we painted the entire house, had the hardwood floors redone and now, with exception of the kitchen, the house looks brand new. And with all the money I am not spending on a new roof, heating system, and other projects, I can spend to remodel the kitchen to my tastes.

Don't get caught up in this ridiculous notion that the sellers have to change their living environment to make the buyer happy. Look at what's important first.

I agree with the comments about the open floor plan. I am actually starting to appreciate rooms again! I think often, in a small house, they make it feel "bigger". I also agree that not everything has to be updated such as the kitchen, etc. The propoerty should be priced accordingly. And, all properties would benefit from a significant decluttering effort, no matter what the decor. I think overstuffed rooms with knicknacks, photos etc., can do more damage than an outdated kitchen. An outdated kitchen is one room. Having the entire house messy and cluttered can just be too overwhelming.

I would rather have a clean, well maintained dated/older kitchen than a brand new stainless/cherry/granite one.

I have no problem with the stainless/cherry/granite kitchen if the materials are actually quality representatives of that aesthetic, and not just a "look" that has been thrown in quickly in an attempt to "modernize". If the cabinets are flimsy, the appliances look shiny but cheap, and the granite is not really stone, or is thin and cheap-looking, don't bother.

The only thing that a kitchen like that has going for it inherently is that it at least means things are new, and not old and worn out.

However, I do wonder why nobody seems to have come up with a newer look; it's like the way in the 90s every auto manufacturer started emulating Jaguar (traditional) and Audi (modern) with lots of wood/metal on the dashboard. Now it smacks of an inability to do anything else.