The people next door

Quoted from the article: "...childless couples make the best neighbors."

Gays! Everyone knows that Gays make the best neighbors!

Correction needed: Childless couples WITHOUT DOGS make the best neighbors...

You could do a lot worse than college kids when it comes to neighbors in the city. At least you know what you're getting-- I'll take a few kicked-over newspaper bins and late-night, booze-fueled singalongs over armed robberies and break-ins any day.

A stay-at-home- mom with older kids and way too much time on her hands, and a spouse with a boring work from home job. They walk their dog together about 6 times a day, and spy on our every move through their windows. Utterly creepy people.

Neighbors who are the first to complain about everyone else and do not realize they are the noisiest, rudest, and most inconsiderate of all. Leave their 2 yapping drop-kick dogs tied up on the deck and go away for the entire day while the neighborhood is subjected to the annoying, neurotic barking not to mention it is abusive to leave them tied up like that for long periods of time.

workingmom3: you're spying on them too that is why you know how many times they walk the dog in the day and how they spy on your every move. Creepy isn't it? *smile* :)

My neighbor's roof is so mossy its greener than a tennis court.

Neighbors, who dont take care of their homes, will cost you money.

The subtext of location, location, location, is “neighbors, neighbors, neighbors”. At the risk of sounding like a snob, good neighbors live in good neighborhoods. Affluent, educated people with manners are both more considerate and more tolerant. I have “moved on up”, like the Jeffersons, from Brighton to Charlestown to Brookline to South End to Back Bay and have settled in Beacon Hill. There have been children, dogs, and students in every neighborhood. However, the consideration for one another seemed to increase in direct relation to the dollar per square that I have paid.

At the end of the day, we each help to make our own hell, or heaven. Think about it, “they” are actually you. The ultimate bad neighbor is one who might shoot you in a drive by or leave a chair in a parking space that he shoveled last month. The best neighbor will bring your packages upstairs for you or mind your plants while you are away. Do we really think that were we to map such patterns, they would not correlate directly to home prices?

Ni: until you know what it's like to "feel glaring eyes on you" and blinds flipping shut, don't judge. I have to remain somewhat cogniscent of their activity as I have had to call law enforcement on numerous occasions for harrassment. My children are terrified of these neighbors; this is nothing to smile about.

When you're living in a place - good, friendly neighbors and good schools are what makes a place great to live (unless you opt for private school for the kiddies or you don't have kids - then it doesn't matter). Rude and inconsiderate neighbors are a big headache.

When you're going to sell a place - the absolute worst thing you can have is a neighbor who doesn't take care of their property. Overgrown, weed-filled lawns, laundry hanging everywhere, overweight guys in tank tops drinking 40s on the front porch - nothing is worse for resale value than that. The quality of the town's schools are again a huge factor.

So I think what's most important depends on your plans for the place - whether you're staying or going makes a big difference.

Sarah,
I grew up in a mostly blue-collar neighborhood of Medford with some white-collar people thrown in. Now granted, that was 40 years ago - and we definitely were NOT "Beacon Hill material" - but the acts that you describe as being good were EXPECTED in our neighborhood not just a pleasant surprise when it happened.

I can understand your comment about the drive-by shooting given how many appear on the news in certain areas, but please don't condemn the "lower priced areas" to eternal labeling because as Ann Landers said many years ago, "TRUE CLASS can be in a King or it could be in a pauper - or neither!"

I now live in a slightly higher priced area myself and I actually long for the lower priced area of my youth - because the people driving their Hummers and BMWs and other assorted "better" vehicles can't seem to understand that they are NOT the only humans on the road or even in the world.

Obviously, our society as a whole is deteriorating as parents fail to teach their children the most basic manners and give them everything they want except love.

Well, enough rambling from me.

To SarahSmile,
One would think the upper echelon makes for better neighbors but such is not always the case. My neighbors are high income, have a summer residence and are away all winter. They just returned from a month in Europe, own a company and yet have zero courtesy, are loud, rude and inconsiderate. I have a hunch when they head north for the summer, their neighbors breathe a collective sigh of relief while we, the neighbors in the north, count the days until fall and their departure to the warmer climate. Money and high end property is not an instant recipe for class. You either have it or you don't. Clearly they do not.

Sometimes this higher price/better neighbors rule is only because people with more money can afford more land... so their dog isn't three feet from your porch in its yard, you don't smell their trash, you can't hear them all the time... etc.
I used to work in Newton. That's a high priced area. Rudest people I think I've ever come across. Never let you make a left, always belittling the help at the Dunkin Donuts. Always "me first". But "ghetto culture" (with no racial overtones, trust me, last time I lived in the ghetto the black family across the street was the best, the while tribe to the right was the worst) is also awful.
But there are tons of great working class neighborhoods where people are really friendly and always helping each other out. I live in one now.

SarahSmile - Thank you for one of the best, most honest, posts I have read on Boston RENow. Like Coach says, "It is what it is".

Lest your comment about Newton appear merely anecdotal, I have also observed that Newton and perhaps Brookline are the best examples of communities where money and class have no link whatsoever. I lived in Newton for two years.

I live in Arlington now, a town that gets a great deal of "air time" on these blogs. We have neighbors of every stripe and I have found a great community of considerate, working class neighbors. The original article that Binyamin cites mentions that people are willing to pay a premium for "good neighbors". I have recommended Arlington to friends and family because of the quality of the community first, commute time second, and schools third. Home prices make this town a financial stretch. However, I believe that we are in the sweet spot of having enough space to move around but urban enough that we must get to know our neighbors.

The reality is there are bad and good people. Similiarly as every city/town has a good and bad section. The world is full of treachery, greedy, and self-center. Until disaster strikes, you don't know whether people around you are good or bad. These people could be your spouse, best friends, or neighbors.

Sarah, I suspect that you just haven't lived in your upscale neighborhood long enough to encounter your first (of numerous) neighbors from you-know-where.

I could write a book about the ambassadors from Purgatory who have increasingly found their way into the neighborhood I live in.

A few examples:

The arrogant advertising firm owner who repeatedly (despite our friendly appeals) allows his off-lead vicious dog to come lunge at my family and I as we eat our dinner on our own kitchen deck.

The insane computer company executive who tore up part of the federally protected stream corridor in back of our house, to build an illegal party/picnic "launching pad looking thing" in the property set-back, facing directly into our bedroom and bathroom window. He also installed illegal outdoor spotlights (and a dozen dangerous illegal "improvements" according to the town) that shine into our windows all night long, over-looking the crumbling slope where he took out all of the plants as they were spoiling his view.

The high tech firm sales VP who held huge weekly parties (even when he wasn't home) for the online dating club he started. The noise, vandalism, drunken crashes, thefts, and fisticuffs with other neighbors, seemed like something out of a cartoon!

Sadly, I could go on and on, but I won't; other than to say that you'd be surprised how many teen and college-aged sons of wealthy people commit property crimes in a "nice" neighborhood... especially as they get involved with drugs. We now have our mail go to a PO Box, and can't leave anything out in sight.

J Michael,

Amen! It reminds me of a saying that rings true for your experience and in general;
The difference between old money and new money is that old money speaks for itself." To me, this says volumes about ordinary people who, through extraordinary luck, end up with the means to finance their dreams come true. Sadly for the rest of us, their dreams become our living nightmares.

J Michael - I am surprised you survived that violent wealthy neighborhood. Why in the world have you not moved? It sounds like your town is imploding around you. What town is this?

Came to the party on this one late, but here's my two cents...

I think the biggest problem in the Boston area is that you don't know your neighbors. If you know your neighbors you are more considerate. If you know your neighbors you are more likely to be helpful. If you know your neighbors, you will be more understanding.

So while I agree with SarahSmile to a point, the one issue with many upper income neighborhoods is that you probably don't know your neighbors. I've lived in several and all have the personality of a snowball. I have yet to find neighborhoods in the Boston area where you really get together with your neighbors and build relationships.

Other states it is very different. It's a bit sad.

Mish:
Much of what you say is true. I know all my immediate neighbors and we bestow random acts of kindness upon each other in the form of taking in each other's mail if away or helping to shovel snow. A dear neighbor's husband who retired early takes my barrel off the street after trash pick-up and I've already left for work and I in turn accept package deliveries and keep an eye on their home when they are traveling. Another neighbor and I call each other if our cars remain unmoved in the driveway for more than a few day to make sure we are each OK and not in need of help. The other neighbors whom I've posted about are not evil and we do chat and have shared a drink on the deck however they remain inconsiderate when it comes to their 2 yapping dogs and also use neighboring driveways as their own without asking permission. They posses a sense of entitlement that I have rarely come across in other neighborhoods. Moral of the story is that leopards do not change their spots( no matter how well you know them).
I would also like to add that while I live outside of Boston proper, New Englanders in general tend to take their time embracing strangers but once we get to know people we are in most cases, helpful and loyal.