What does "home" mean?

Hi Rona,

I have noticed a few of your recent blogs are more relating to the emotional side of housing.

I am not one to get emotional over a house. To me it is a thing like a car or a shirt. What you can afford does not and should not dictate the quality of relationships that you have with your family.

Hi Rona,
Sorry to see that Hilda passed away.
Paul

People are a home. A building is a house. It annoys me when the two are conflated in an attempt to sell more houses.

One of the things that doesn't exactly lift the reputation of the real estate field.

It's sad that someone would be so presumptuous to suggest that just because a person may rent, (a place where they find peace and comfort) may not be considered to be a "home" by anyone. A house does not necessarily guarantee that it is a home.

It's not where you live, it's how you live.

Its particularly good that people who dont give a hoot about their home be honest about it, and not invest the money into living in communities where the residents do care. You are probably one of those people who lets the home maintenance and updates slip since its not important to you, since a house is just "a thing" with no soul, and Im appreciative to not have that attitude amongst my neighbors anymore.

What's the difference. You are either renting from a landlord, renting from a bank or renting from the government. No one ever truly owns their home. Don't believe me? Stop paying your mortgage for a year and you'll find out who owns your home. Home paid off? Stop paying your property taxes and you will find out who owns your home.

I don't know who first said it, but I've heard the quote that "a house is a big wooden box that sits out in the rain and slowly rots." That's why I'm not sentimental about buying a house. Home is where you make it-- be that in an apartment, a house, or yurt.

A house, to me, is about what The Missus and I want in a home.

We want to be able to paint a given wall when we want to without asking permission. We want to be able to hang as many pictures, and put as many holes in as many walls as we want without worrying about our security deposit. We want a backyard that we don't have to share with other people. We want to have our own basement, so we can store what we want without worrying that other tenants won't be as respectful of our stuff as we are of theirs.

Basically, we want a house for the benefits that a house offers over renting. But we're not stupid, and we're not going to beggar ourselves to make it happen. We have a good roof, enough room so that our kids can each have their own beds, and indoor plumbing. We can wait for prices to come to us, and if they never do then we'll just never buy.

The only urgency in the act of buying a house is on the seller's side. Nobody HAS to buy a house, but sometimes sellers HAVE to sell.

No, I don't think you need to own your home for it to feel like "home." I have rented several apartments and I have great memories from each of them. My current "apartment" is half of a two-family house and I have trouble referring to it as an "apartment." And no, I don't think private outdoor space is important in this respect. A whole neighborhood can be a "home."

On a related note, when do you stop thinking of the house you grew up in as "home-home"? My parents have always lived in the same house, so as an adult I've often wondered this. Do you ever consider the place where you live as an adult as your true home, or in the back of your mind is it always your childhood dwelling?

A home is where you make memories. Moving from one home to another in the past was very emotional for me because I was leaving places I'd shared laughter and tears with my friends and family. It didn't matter to me whether I'd rented the building or owned it - I'd made those places my home.

I never thought of my house as a home until now when we are moving, 10 years later. I always considered my house a box. I didn't love it.

Now that I am leaving, I realize all the memories there. My kids were born there. My son's graduation party. The holiday and family gatherings.

Home is the emotional component of a house OR apartment. When the emotion steps in, it doesn't matter anymore how you pay for it (rent or mortgage). It's funny how similar it is to the old pair of shoes or slippers. Yout step in and it just feels right.

A home should be a haven. I've been living in an apartment for almost 2 years, and just won an eviction suit against the landlord. Not one day or night went by that I felt safe here. I stopped paying the rent because there was no heat. Surely a home should have warmth. We went to trial 6 months after she filed the notice to quit, and I won. I don't owe her any money. I owe her nothing. But it's been one of the worst experiences in my life. In a home there must be freedom from fear. You must be comfortable. When I think of the homes I've created in the past, I made them mine, very personal and filled with warmth and beauty. I never made one attempt to make this place look nice because I hated it and had no respect for a landlord who refused to make repairs and supply heat in November. I don't believe a home has anything to do with ownership. It's about love and care and safety and being surrounded by all the things you love. I'm so glad I'm leaving this horrible place. I never once thought of this place as a home. A home should be where your heart is.

The mere fact a house is a financial investment doesn't mean you shouldn't maintain it. I don't know about you, but I'm a big believer in protecting my investments.

Perhaps if more people had gone shopping for a "home," instead of a quickly appreciating investment in a "house," there might be fewer forclosures today.

Carlene: Glad you won the suit. However, I hope you stop paying rent only during the 'heat not repair' period. The rent should be pro-rated. If the heat (furnace) is repaired and you continue to stop paying rent since the incident, I think you're just exploiting the situation for your benefits. I don't know your situation, but you seem very happy and have great animosity toward the landlady. If she never attempted to repair the heat at all, God bless her and she deserved the results.

Anyway, back to the topic. Like HGTV: Life's biggest moment? Start at Home!
You spend 3/4 of your life at home (rent or own) and it should be a haven. It shouldn't be some investment crystal ball. Each day, you start at home and end your day at home. It is something you look forward each day to come to...it's your santuary.

I have the greenest lawn on my street amongst other well kept homes. The same way I wash and vacuume out my car and clean my laundry. Keeping up where you live and how you live have nothing to do with the fact that a house is a thing. In fact the words 'house' and 'home' are both nouns, not feelings.

I once had an agent say "let me help you bring your children home". How distasteful is that?\ A house is a thing and when you attach too much emotion to things you get some really unhappy people. SOme one may get the impression that they should over extend themselves because they think a house will make then feel more secure than financial security.

HHHMMM makes you think that this is exactly the mentality the contributed to the whole "I got to buy a house even if I can't afford it" fiasco the housing market is in right now.

"Home" for me is not as material as "house." Home has dirty laundry, mismatched sofa pillows, piles of magazines and newspapers - the unglamorous stuff that life creates. Wheras house entails curb appeal, worth, value, $$$ - the sort of thing people seemed to stretch for to appear wealthier than they were.

Home is an emotional term. House is not.

I think it's rather odd not to become emotionally attatched to a home. I still kinda miss some of my old apartments. They hosted some good memories.