Self-segregation: choosing your neighbors and professional constulants

Your statements really bother me. As a probably dumb, boring individual with simple ideas, I would like to think that any professional from whom I seek assistance would provide me with advice or service without the intrusion of prejudice. I would hope that they discuss my needs respectfully with all their colleagues without making comments related to my sense of humor, intelligence or other irrelevant personality or personal features. Their compensation, which derives from my needs, has the same worth as any other individuals. Although you qualify your column by saying that you did not discuss the ideal client in terms of wealth, the type of individuals you personally describe "physicists, other scientists, and technically educated people" have characteristics that might be considered euphemisms for middle to higher income. You speak of experienced agents seeking clients. ....I thought that it was the clients who sought out the brokers and agents..........

GB, I agree with you 100%.

What is important to me in choosing a professional consultant? Well, I can tell you with absolute certainty that I would never, ever consider hiring anyone pompous enough to say (in a public forum no less) something like, "dumb people bore me".

"As a probably dumb, boring individual with simple ideas, "

I don't know, you sound pretty smart to me.

Thank you for your comment. It is well considered and certainly not from a person I would consider dumb. I made a mistake. I should have written "ignorant" not "dumb." Being ignorant is a behavior that can be changed, not a matter of innate ability. I have worked with mentally retarded adults whose company I enjoyed tremendously. Education is not always a matter of college either; it can be a matter of life experience.

This entry is about how we self-identify and who we consider "like us." Please remember, I am a real estate agent -- a service worker in a field that requires no college education. I can't do calculus, but I like scientists. I don't care a whit about what color they are or what country they are from. I feel an affinity to them. I teach them about houses; they teach me about comets. I also work with an array of social workers, teachers, non-profit sector workers, film-makers, carpenters and plumbers. The ones I enjoy have life experience to share.

Having a real estate client who bores or annoys me is my problem; the client is rarely aware of how I feel because I behave professionally. I entirely disagree with you that the client is the only one whose choice matters in hiring. Experienced professionals choose their jobs. Haven't you turned down a job offer? I prefer to work with people I enjoy; they are bright, funny and compassionate. Should I prefer to work with ignorant, humorless, mean people?

Prejudice means deciding about a person before having the grounds to judge. Generally, when someone is subject to prejudice it happens because the person reminds the viewer of some stereotype, like "real estate agents don't care about anything but money."

So, back to the topic:
I have told you how I self-identify. What do you look for in your neighbors and professional contacts?

"My specialty has been working with physicists, other scientists, and technically educated people who are daunted by the practical end of real estate decisions. Dumb people bore me. Mean people annoy me. I value intelligence, humor and compassion. I enjoy people with big, complex ideas in their heads."

Although your post comes off as pretty presumptuous, I think most would generally agree with your statement. I would think most people prefer interacting with well educated, interesting people - who would ever choose your other alternative.. spending time with "dumb" people, as you call them? Regardless, I was a bit taken aback to read this coming from a broker. I can only hope the agent I used when I purchased my condo wasn't as judgemental!

Nothing wrong with enjoying working with some people more, obviously...

Let's see: I enjoy working and living with people who are intelligent, who can communicate (and that includes LISTENING) well, who have compassion, or regard for others and seek to put people at ease.

Put another way, I can not stand people who are unable to understand a multi-part or nuanced point, and who do not consider the effect of their actions on others. Whether it's just a casual interaction, or a discussion with a neighbor, these folks are tough for me to deal with sometimes.

hmm, it appears that my previous comment was censored. I must say, that doesn't really raise your stock much in my opinion. Our neighbors just had a baby and are looking to upgrade into a larger single family home in Arlington. Just last night they asked if I had any recommendations for a realtor - I can assure you that I'll be mentioning your name to them tonight as someone to avoid.

A follow-up -
when choosing a professional contact, I think details matter. If the consultant can't remember how to spell my name, or isn't listening to criteria, my interest fades quickly. I'm listening to them, and taking their words seriously, so why won't they do the same? This happens far too often now, in my opinion. The person who is on the ball will not forget the little things, and will be a joy to work with throughout the transaction.

My neighbors can't be real estate agents - I certainly don't want uneducated service workers living in my neighborhood!

Dear Ben,

First of all, you are not being censored. Second of all, Globe staff do the publishing and not publishing for this site, not me. They are paid to monitor it all day. I have a day job.

Second, you seem pretty impatient, maybe a little mean. I may not want your referral.

I accept that I sound pompous. I was being much more self-disclosing to make the point that we all have favorite people and people we don't like.

I was hoping for a discussing about who you are and why you choose who you associate with.

Ben -

Not sure what you posted earlier, but I've run into the same problem on this blog as well. It seems like certain people have free reign on their comments (e.g. Charles, Marcus) and can be as nasty or condescending as they want. I've tried before to directly address comments made against me by these two only to find that my post never gets published. Certainly makes one question the journalistic integrity of this blog and the Globe staff overall, don't you think?

Rona, I don't think you'd want my referral anyway. Our neighbors aren't scientists or in any of the "technically educated" fields.

Learn to spell constulants

"constulants"? .........maybe in the text........ but spelling error in the boldface title line..... and without correction .............

One of the criteria I value in a real estate professional is attention to details.

I don't see anyone talking about who they want in their neighborhoods, who they like to work with. I only see reaction to my preferences. You don't want real estate agents or intellectual snobs; who do you like?

You are all correct about it being careless of me to let that typo get through on the title. It won't happen again.

As for the flame-like comments, the editors have standards. They are:
negative comments need to move the conversation along, add some information, or clarify a point; not simply flame a writer.

Stuff like, "you can't spell" generally doesn't cut it. Since it's Rona-bashing day, I let them go through.
As penance, I will write 100 times, "I must not make a typo on this blog."
Consultant, consultant, consultant, consultant...

I guess my criteria for friends, neighbors and consultants are very different.

A sense of humor is always appealing, but in a professional I prefer nerdy obsessiveness. I like to look at my doctor, dentist, and attorney and think, "My god, don't you have any interests in life outside your job?" The preferred answer is always no.

Oh, and Sean, my comments have been censored a great deal lately, whenever the staff doesn't agree with them. No personal attacks required.

In anwer to your question:

I have never made a choice of home based upon the neighbors. Maybe I have been lucky, but my choice of locale has been based upon school system, proximity to transportation, the characteristics of the house, whether the homes around me are well maintained, whether the house is next to the fire station, etc.....

My choice of real estate professional has been based upon recommendation of friends or colleagues whom I trust and and whose suggestions I value (Much like one might choose any other professional).

"Bashing"? Not intended. Sorry that you regard it this way. But, regarding the comment on spelling: It stands for a headline. You write for a newpaper and I hold you to a higher standard (certainly for headlines). I viewed your comments as presumptuous and not what I would have expected from a professional, and perhaps I expected you to have dotted all the i's and crossed all the t's. Just as you might hold me to a higher standard in my area of professional conduct. Enough said.

I disagree. I've had my run ins with Marcus before and have had my comments posted as I have written. There will be disagreements in views but the Globe does a pretty good job at reviewing the comments for any explicit feedback. Its a public forum and not everything can be posted as is.

I've taken the real eastate sales agent course, and I will never forget the comment that my instructor said. Being a sales agent is sort of like dating. During the time that you are meeting one another, the agent and the client are interviewing each other and looking to see if they are right match. I would never datea person who have completely different views or lack of understanding me which would also work the same if I were to hire someone for a service. I don't think you walk into every salon and expect everey haristylist to be able to cut and style your hair the way you like. You have to know that the person id on the same page as you and you usually go with those you are familiar with. I don't think we just hire anyone for a service, im pretty sure there is some thought put into it.

I believe Rona is trying to get a sense of what people out there are looking for when they decide on the areas they live in or the people they associate with. I am a young professional. i am interested in the buying a modern condo with ameneties in the area which would include hang out spots where other young (recent grads) professionals would hang out. Thats my preference and i bet if I were to hire an agent, I would be more steered to a person close to my age with the same understanding of likes and dislikes that many people in my generation tend to have. It's easier doing business that way and its fun to associate myself with those who have the same interests as i would.

Wow, someone admits that they don't like dealing with dumb or mean people (seriously, who does?), and you all want to nail her to a cross. All she did was admit that she finds technically minded people the most enjoyable for her to work with. So who do you find the most enjoyable to work with?

Personally, I find artistic types enjoyable to work with. Perhaps because I am in a technical field, I find their different perspective interesting. Or, perhaps it's because I always wanted to pursue more artistic endeavors, but I never had much talent.

Your right Steve....Well said. Anyone who has been in sales knows what Rona said is true. it's funny that all my best clients turned out to be Firefighters. It was just a natural close for me. I guess I just should have stayed with my dream as a 6 year old. Take a chill pill boys.