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April fool’s day

Posted by Rona Fischman April 1, 2011 02:10 PM

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Today, let’s make fun of listing sheets. Easy, right? I hope this is fun for you.

First, I want to share my two personal (seen with my own eyes) favorites:

It is custom to tell an agent that there will be a pet in the house. Example: “Small dog named Fred will be in crate in the office.” “Two cats, don’t let them out.” Sometime in the 90s, I saw a listing sheet that read,

“Friendly dog, named Killer, will be in the house.”

I met Killer. You guessed it; he was a lap dog! But that wasn’t the picture I had in my head at three in the morning the night before the showing. (Confession, I am afraid of strange dogs.)

The other was a Freudian typo.

“An imaginative buyer can burn this one into a beauty.”

The most common type of remarks that draw derision from my clients are the ones that are obvious exaggeration. My colleagues, Kathe Geist and Hilda Silverman and I prepared this list for our clients about ten years ago:

Won't last = over priced, pretty, been on sale before at a higher price

Ready for your growing family = huge, sprawling, ugly

Expansion potential (also “cozy,” “efficient,” and “for first-time buyer”) = small

Near center of town = in center of town

Near Harvard Square = somewhere in the city of Cambridge, Somerville or Medford

View of Harvard Square = on a hill in Cambridge, Somerville or Medford

Charm, charm, charm = abandon all hope, ye who enter here

Lots of space, near everything = abandon all hope, ye who enter here

Developer’s dream = abandon all hope, ye who enter here

I bet you can add to it. Please keep it clean!

This blog is not written or edited by or the Boston Globe.
The author is solely responsible for the content.

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Scott Van Voorhis is a freelance writer who specializes in real estate and business issues.

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