Don’t love something that can’t love you back
This Valentine's Day entry comes to you a little late, because of a couple of entries that got added last week. I find it amusing that Scott and I came at this from different angles:
Lots of people say that they love their house. My agent, Ron Rothenberg quotes an older relative who says, “Don’t love anyone or anything that can’t love you back.” I agree.
A house is a thing, made of wood and metal and plastic. It takes on its lovability from the utility it gives you and the life you store in it. Some houses are more lovable than others, for sure. But as soon as you lose perspective that the house is a thing – a means to an end – you are making a mistake. I contend that the marketing of a "dream home" is something consumers should work hard to ignore.
Open houses are designed to inspire love at first sight. If they succeed, there will be more than one ready, willing, and able buyer who has been rushed into making an Offer. Like many a love affair, the wash of emotion creates a momentum that carries the process along. Some lovers wake up the morning after wondering, “What was I thinking?” Some roll over, and look at the love of their lives.
Like a short and ill-fated marriage, house divorce (called “selling”) is expensive and an occasion for high emotion. If you don’t think it is going to last, should keep real estate dating (called “renting.”)
Here are some warning signs that the house you are in is not a keeper:
Geographically Undesirable (GU). A GU person lives thousands of miles away and intends to stay there, and you don’t want to live there. A GU house has a location issue. You may be able to ignore it, but make sure it won’t bother you over time. If you are with a GU person, or a GU house, it better be something special.
Has no integrity. Ever fall for a pretty face and find out that nothing was holding it together? A newly renovated, shiny house may be put together with spit and bubblegum, or it may be nicely rebuilt. The same can be said for new construction. Buyers make a big mistake when they mistake “new” for “good.”
Check it out before falling for it. If you are not familiar with building materials, wander through a building store to see what the bottom-of-the-line looks like. Then, when you see a lot of cheap fixtures, you know what you are looking at. Good workership can be seen with even-looking finish carpentry, level flooring and a generally solid, straight look and feel. If you have these basics, a good home inspector can catch what you don’t see.
Not compatible for the long run. The guy or gal you dated in high school may have been the love of your life, but chances are, you outgrew that relationship. The same can be true for a place that is too small, too funky, or in a so-so location you can handle for a while. If that “for a while” is less than ten years, you may be making a mistake.
Houses are hard to get in and out of, economically and emotionally. The less often that you move, the fewer fees you will have to pay for the pleasure of house hunting, closing, and moving. So, be careful about losing your heart to a pile of wood, metal and plastic. If you are going to buy, do it for the long haul. Like marriage, the hope is that it will endure and be a support in your life for years to come.
