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Plenty to do? That's the ticket

NORTON -- The Patriots kicked off the weekend early by capping an undefeated exhibition season Wednesday night with a win over the Chicago Bears in Foxborough. Down the street, Aerosmith and Kiss were rocking down the house at the Tweeter Center. Yesterday morning, the Parrot Heads took over, hunkering down for one of two Jimmy Buffett concerts. Back in Boston, the Red Sox prepared for a pivotal three-game series with the New York Yankees.

And one hour south in Norton, Janet Malkasian, the volunteer chairwoman for player services, scrambled to make sure all her PGA pros were able to attend the event of their choice on the eve of the Deutsche Bank Championship at TPC Boston.

"I feel like Ticketron," she said.

Normally, a weekend Sox series with the Evil Empire would obliterate the mention of any other sporting event in town, but the PGA has returned to the Boston area with a monster purse and the biggest draw in sports: Eldrick "Tiger" Woods. The TPC has locked up Tiger and the event for this year and next but naturally would like to establish a more permanent relationship.

The strategy is obvious: Make sure these golfers have so much fun that they want to come back.

"I'm going crazy," Malkasian reported. "I've got about six different ticket lists going, but it's good. This might be one of the only tournaments with a concierge desk for the players. We had about 20 guys in Foxborough for the Patriots. I've got about 50 that want to see Buffett. The Red Sox-Yankees series is very hot. And we're taking care of the wives, too. We planned a trip to Newport [R.I.]. I think some of them are shopping today on Newbury Street."

With so much happening in the Hub, there has been a fair amount of ticket trading on the greens. The PGA players have begun to realize passes to their event are a hot commodity and are swapping them for events of their choice.

Jesper Parnevik spent the better part of Wednesday inquiring how he could get hooked up to see Aerosmith. As dusk settled in that evening, Parnevik emerged from the clubhouse grinning, tickets in hand, and dressed totally in black.

Billy Andrade, the affable native of Bristol, R.I., was hoping to take in a Sox game and visit with his friend, pitcher Derek Lowe, who walked the TPC course earlier in the week. Andrade not only made it to Fenway, he threw out the first pitch Wednesday night.

Andrade debated long and hard which of his favorite Sox pitchers he'd emulate when he got to the mound and gave careful consideration to Roger Clemens.

"But if I did him, they would have booed me," Andrade said.

He decided on the delivery of Luis Tiant, then was delighted to run into El Tiante just before game time.

"I told him, `I'm going to throw out the first pitch. I'm going to be you,' " Andrade said. "He said, `OK, but make sure you don't fall on your [rear].' "

Andrade said he will be back at Fenway tonight with his kids. He will have company. At least 15 golfers have requested tickets to the game, among them first-year pro Arron Oberholser.

"I'm a San Francisco Giants fan, but I've always wanted to go to Fenway," Oberholser said. "I tried to get tickets to Wednesday's game, because I wanted to see [Toronto's Roy] Halladay pitch. But I'm only a rookie. I don't know any people yet. Can you get me tickets?"

Jonathan Kaye, who earned $550,000 for finishing second in last weekend's NEC Championship in Akron, Ohio, scored Patriots tickets from his agent and was looking forward to a late summer evening of good football Wednesday night. Instead, he was subjected to the total New England experience, including the log jam on Route 1.

"It turned out to be kind of a bummer, actually," Kaye said yesterday. "We got stuck in all sorts of traffic, and we didn't know any of the back roads. We were late for the game, and then we got pulled over on our way out. [The officer] said he had me on driving under the influence, but there's only one problem -- I don't drink.

"He had me on about nine violations by the time I got a chance to tell him I hadn't had a single thing to drink. After that, we straightened it out."

Wonder if Kaye gave Patriots owner Robert Kraft an earful about the police yesterday. Kraft played in the pro-am and was paired with Shigeki Maruyama. Their foursome finished at 13 under par.

Before you start scouring the stands for Woods at any of this weekend's festivities, be warned that Malkasian already checked in with him, and he declined her offer to set him up with tickets. Asked yesterday if he would consider taking part in any of the extracurricular activities, Tiger hedged just a little.

"We'll see," he said. "If anything, I'd go and check out the Sox. That's about it. I've been to Fenway before, so it won't be anything new. It will be interesting to see the seats out there on top of the Wall. But I don't know, we'll see. A lot of it depends on how I play."

Hey Tiger, don't you want to check out Buffett wasting away in Margaritaville?

"Aw, c'mon," he answered. "I may have been born in the '70s, but, no."

Woods isn't the only one who has passed on the generosity of the TPC Boston staff. Malkasian reports that Curtis Strange, Vijay Singh, and Nick Price all politely declined her offer to get them premium seats.

"I thought Greg Norman might want to go to something, but his daughter goes to Boston College, so he'll be visiting her in his spare time," said Malkasian. "It's really mostly the younger pros who are interested. The older guys just want to concentrate on golf."

It was easier for Paul Azinger to think golf during the pro-am because one of his partner Steve Pagliuca's concerns -- the Celtics -- is out of season.

Veteran Corey Pavin is a Los Angeles Dodgers fan, but he's never been to Fenway and admitted he was tempted.

"But I don't think I will," he said.

In the meantime, Andrade said there's a chance Lowe could be back at the course before the tournament is over. There was talk Tim Wakefield hoped to drop by as well.

"It's just a fabulous weekend," Andrade said. "Everybody's all jacked up. And it's great for this event. Hopefully when the players leave here, they'll say, `Hey, I'm going back to Boston next year. There's a lot happening up there.' "

Jimmy Buffett, Tom Brady, Roger Clemens, Steven Tyler, and Tiger Woods. Really, now. Who wouldn't want to come back?

Jackie MacMullan's e-mail address is macmullan@globe.com.

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