Just don't expect a jolly good show, folks

Never, perhaps, has proper thanks been expressed for the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, The Who, the Kinks, the Dave Clark Five, Herman's Hermits, Dusty Springfield, and the Spencer Davis Group. OK, so maybe we don't owe thanks for Herman's Hermits, but we do for the Moody Blues and the Hollies, the Police and Fleetwood Mac, Elton John and David Bowie, and for Manfred Mann, without whom we'd never have known the joy of saying to our bewildered parents: "Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do."

Oh, and The Clash? Thank you, thank you, thank you - a lifetime of thanks - and feel free to rock the casbah.

Bass Ale, Samuel Smith, Belhaven, and Newcastle? Thank you, times four.

No one made better movies than Alfred Hitchcock and when it came to racing those confounding Formula 1 cars, there was Jackie Stewart. Everyone else was second.

David Niven provided great screen dignity and ditto Julie Andrews, so thank you very kindly for the two of them. The same goes for James Bond, especially through the panache of Sean Connery. Alec Guinness in "Bridge on the River Kwai" was good stuff, for which we owe you thanks, and while I don't know from personal knowledge, I suspect the Rolls Royce and the Bentley are worthy of great thanks, too.

Yorkshire pudding is a favorite and the same could be said for delectable shortbread and afternoons with tea and crumpets.

For masters of the written word - Shakespeare and Lord Byron, Charles Dickens and Robert Burns, Agatha Christie and J.R.R. Tolkien - we extend our gratitude.

Charles Darwin provoked great debate and Sir Isaac Newton opened minds with his observations about falling apples. Captain James Cook helped pave the way to Hawaii, which introduced us to an entire world of flowered shirts. Winston Churchill was a giant among diplomats, Sir Alexander Fleming a medical hero with his penicillin.

From England they came, all of them. And to show our jolly good thanks for those British gifts, we offer up our Dolphins for this week's NFL game in London.

OK, so they aren't very good.

Neither is David Beckham, so we're even.

The picks
Washington at New England (-16 1/2) - A touchdown pass during the national anthem? Never been done before, so it's stunning when Tom Brady pulls off two. The 43-yard score to Randy Moss comes when the singer belts out ". . . were so gallantly streaming," and the 17-yarder to Wes Welker is recorded as she winds down with ". . . does that star-spangled banner yet wave . . ." Pick: Patriots.

NY Giants (-9 1/2) at Miami (London) - Remember, folks, Americans going overseas are getting hit hard by the exchange rate. It's almost 2-1 against the British pound. Thus will touchdowns be worth just 3 points, field goals 1 1/2, and extra points will be worth a mere half-point. Pick: Giants.

Detroit at Chicago (-5) - Wow, the emotions are overflowing. "Detroit don't come into Chicago and win in our stadium," the Bears' Tommie Harris declared to reporters. Responded Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna: "We have the pieces to win. We just had to put it all together." Asked for a balanced view of this heated encounter, Abraham Lincoln assessed thusly: "Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing." Pick: Bears.

Oakland at Tennessee (-7 1/2) - Painful report coming out of Titans land. Fullback Ahmard Hall has a broken left arm and could miss four weeks. I've put a call into the team doctor to see which four weeks he'll miss. Pick: Raiders.

Cleveland (-3) at St. Louis - Seven games, seven losses, so it's no surprise that Rams coach Scott Linehan grouses that "there's not a lot of things to be too happy about." May I remind you, Coach, that it's apple crisp season. Pick: Rams.

Philadelphia (-1) at Minnesota - Vikings fans were stunned to discover that Tarvaris Jackson had suffered a broken index finger on his throwing hand. Stunned, because with a 45.9 percent completion rate, two touchdowns, five interceptions, and 48.7 passer rating, Jackson had never indicated he had a throwing hand. Pick: Eagles.

Jacksonville at Tampa Bay (-4) - David Garrard has become the latest player to be sidelined because of a high ankle sprain, which is more serious than the low ankle sprain, because it involves something called the syndesmotic ligament. This isn't to say that the low ankle sprain, which is the tearing of the anterior talofibular ligament, isn't painful. It most certainly is. But the syndesmotic ligament joins the tibia and the fibula and, well, that produces abnormal motion between the bones. Hey, while you were captivated by Luke and Laura, I actually learned something from Dr. Monica Quartermaine. Pick: Jaguars.

Pittsburgh (-3 1/2) at Cincinnati - Should I trust the Bengals' resurgent offense? Or should I put my faith in the Steelers' reliable defense? Logical questions that I posed to my wife. "I think you should clean out the gutters," she said. I think that was her way of saying she liked the underdog. Pick: Bengals.

Houston at San Diego (NL) - Will the Texans go with Sage Rosenfels or Matt Schaub at quarterback? Or will Rosenfels and Schaub go open a law firm? Stay tuned. Pick: Chargers.

New Orleans (-3) at San Francisco - The 49ers' Frank Gore is upset with offensive coordinator Jim Hostler, claiming there is a lack of trust between players and coach, which accounts for the team's last-place ranking in offense. Al Gore says global warming, not Hostler, is to blame. Pick: 49ers.

Buffalo at NY Jets (-3) - Told my friend that the Jets' Jonathan Vilma was hurt. Guess his hearing aid was turned down, because he asked me how Fred and Pebbles were doing. Pick: Jets.

Indianapolis (-6 1/2) at Carolina - The Panthers are 3-0 in their career vs. the Colts. The Panthers are 0-2 at home this season and they're 0-1 vs. AFC teams. The Colts are 6-0 this season, 3-0 on the road, and 2-0 vs. NFC teams. That's it for now. I've run out of zeroes. Pick: Colts.

Green Bay at Denver (-3) - The Broncos have Domonique Foxworth in the defensive backfield. That gets me thinking. Forget the obnoxious Hank Williams Jr. How about Debbie Reynolds and her "Singing Nun" song as a lead-in to this Monday encounter? Pick: Packers.

Last week: 11-3.

Season: 46-50-6.