Cowboy rides off into sunset

DALLAS -- ''This is the end of it," Kevin Millar said last night. ''Officially the end."

He knew it was coming, of course. The news yesterday that the Red Sox had not offered the first baseman salary arbitration, a procedure that gives teams the chance to keep free agents, only sealed a fate to which he'd already resigned himself, that the Sox were cutting all ties to him.

Cowboy Out.

And regardless of what you might have thought of him as a player, a lot of the fun just seeped out of the Red Sox clubhouse.

''I mean, it's been strange," Millar said last night from his new home in Arizona, where he works out daily with Bill Mueller, the third baseman who was offered arbitration by the Sox but almost certainly won't be back, the Sox just making sure they get draft picks as compensation when Mueller signs elsewhere. ''The whole situation is strange, what's going on. It's happened so quick. It's happened so fast. All the way to Theo [Epstein's] situation, the doctor's, the training staff, and maybe five to seven position players."

Just more than 13 months ago, this team won a World Series. Now it's in the process of being blown apart, with the possibility that only a handful of familiar faces will be in Fort Myers come February. Especially if Manny Ramírez is traded, Edgar Renteria is shipped off to Atlanta, and Johnny Damon signs somewhere else.

How does that happen?

''I can't answer that question," Millar said. ''This thing is strange to me. All the fun we had the last three years, with the ups and downs and the tough times we battled through, this is a group of guys who won 95-plus games three straight years, went to the playoffs three straight years, won a World Series, and could have gone back-to-back.

''Usually when a team loses a lot of players, maybe they were a good group of guys but won just 80 or so games. But this team, this group of guys, maybe it wasn't the best team position by position, but we knew how to win together. It's strange how quick it's been dismantled.

''On the flip side, this isn't like the Florida Marlins blowing up their team because of money. They're replacing guys with great players like Josh Beckett and Mike Lowell and Mark Loretta, who is phenomenal. This is a team that has the money to replace guys. It's like a changing of the guard."

Millar picked an awful time to have his worst season in the big leagues. He hit just nine home runs. He knocked in just 50 runs. The same fans who once gleefully sang along with the Karaoke Cowboy doing Bruce Springsteen, last season serenaded him with boos. And the reporters who clustered around his locker to chuckle at his jokes were the same people chucking some of the biggest barbs his way.

Still, he didn't want to go. He never wanted to go.

''These were the greatest three years of my entire life playing baseball," he said. ''Playing for the Red Sox, playing for Boston, that city, those fans. And that's 100 percent from my heart.

''It's sad, of course. I don't think there is anyone that did more laughing, more winning, more competing than this team, and who would believe that it is over.

''I don't think people will realize until these guys are gone what they were like, a good group from 1 to 25 that knew how to win on a daily basis."

The future is uncertain for Millar, who turned 34 Sept. 24. The offers from other clubs haven't exactly been rolling in.

''This is the first time I've gone through free agency," he said. ''It's a situation I don't know a whole lot about. It's been slow for me. I had a disappointing season personally for me. I'm working every day, training as hard as I can.

''I'm not a .270 hitter, I'm a .290 hitter. I average 20 home runs, not nine. I hit .300 with runners in scoring position, not .200. Everyone has an off year, and I'm going to do all that I can to get a job, go help somebody else out.

''I wish I could come back and do it all again, but the past season was a stinker. My job is to get back on track and make somebody proud again.

''But when all is said and done, 2004 will go down as a part of history. I'm proud that I was part of that nation, proud to have been part of Red Sox Nation while I was there."