Some open and shut cases
Emptying Out The Desk Drawer Of The Sports Mind:
Greg Oden is the Health Food that will help you grow up to be big and strong. Kevin Durant is the Guilty Pleasure, the gooey dessert you can't get enough of.
I don't recall Coach Bill ever demanding Eagle Scouts and altar boys. (Bryan Cox, anybody?) He's always left all the moralizing to the owner.
Over/Under W's for Roger: 9. Over/Under ERA for Roger: 4.30. I can see him handing over a few five-inning, 6-5 leads.
Now then, it's so much more fun with Roger going to New York as a villain than having him here as a fifth starter, isn't it?
Aside to Rog: Take some of that new stash and buy yourself a digital camera. Telling an NY Daily News photog you'll grab his "film" is so 20th century.
I will say this for Curt The Blogger: He writes better than any of us could pitch. As a stylist, he's a solid 15-11, 4.11. But he should cease the name-call ing.
The Dallas Mavericks were so pathetic against Nellie's Golden State Warriors, I would seriously ask to see their phone records, if you know what I mean.
Reason No. 1,037 to love "The Sopranos": Tony recently lost a bundle betting on the Nets.
Even before Wednesday's performance, I'd already made one dinner bet that Daisuke would win 17. Want a piece of it?
Save up a surprise Standing O for the great Omar Vizquel when the Giants arrive next month. Tell me why he isn't Cooperstown material.
Of course, you folks with real jobs can't stay up till 1:20 a.m. to see Golden State-Utah Game 1 (as I did), but it's almost worth getting
Is Chris Drury the Robert Horry of hockey?
There is, however, no Barry Melrose of basketball.
Just wondering how long it will take before we'll all know just what "Lugo being Lugo" is going to mean.
If a manager, like a player, can be in a hot streak, Terry Francona has started the season like a '41 DiMaggio.
Does anybody understand how stupid this "Sweet Caroline" thing makes us look all across this great land of ours?
Which reminds me: We did have some bleacher foof trying to start The Wave in the eighth inning of a tie game with men on and two outs not too long ago. Not cool. Not cool at all.
"Dancing With The Stars" won't be complete this year until we see Apolo Anton Ohno dancing with Laila Ali.
If Tiger plays as well in his 40s as Vijay is currently doing, he'll wind up with 25 majors, easy.
When Joel Zumaya messes up a tendon in his finger warming up in the bullpen, you know it's the Baseball Gods simply evening things up a little for the Tigers after last year's joyride.
If Rick Pitino had a sense of humor, he'd go to the NBA Lottery a week from Tuesday dressed in green.
Momma, don't allow your kid to grow up to be a baseball general manager if it can turn a good man such as J.P. Ricciardi into a public liar.
I wonder what Calvin Borel would have said if you had told him a week ago he'd be meeting the queen of England at a White House dinner. (Think she asked him if he'd ever read any Dick Francis?)
Yes or no? What happened to Brady Quinn in the draft was a complete dismissal by the NFL of Charlie Weis's opinion.
Is it true they've just revised the definition of "capitulation" in Webster's New World College Dictionary to read, "a state of surrender comparable to the deplorable play of the Dallas Mavericks against the Golden State Warriors"?
I don't see the harm in extending Tim Wakefield's contract to, oh, say, 2011.
What? You think Joe Torre doesn't know he's long past the predicted managerial expiration date? A few more Mariano Rivera misplaced cutters and he'll soon be able to take and pick up his daughter from school.
Um, just in case the NBA Lottery is a disappointment . . . No. 3 is North Carolina's Brandan Wright, and all I can say is he gets up and down the floor as well as any 6-foot-10-inch guy since James Worthy.
The Detroit Pistons have the (Old) Old Celtics written all over them. And Chris Webber has found the perfect situation, one in which he is asked only to do what he does well while leaving being the Main Man to someone else.
I think they should just mail Dirk Nowitzki his NBA MVP Award in a plain brown wrapper. A public ceremony would fall under the heading of Cruel and Unusual Punishment.
Hope there was a little extra in the envelope for the writer who provided the following line in last week's "Entourage": "I got a guy here melting down faster than Phil Mickelson at Winged Foot."
Boy, that Marion Jones sure has an eye for men. How'd she miss out on Pete Doherty?
If our economist friends want to do a study on officiating bias, they should explore the subject of why, at every level from high school right through the NBA, the perceived better players get so many more borderline calls than the perceived mediocre ones. I'd pay to read that survey.
I don't want to say the Mavericks mailed it in against the Warriors, but I heard the guest speaker at their breakup dinner was Cliff Clavin.
Is the first day of the NFL draft over yet?
Bob Ryan is a Globe columnist. His e-mail address is ryan@globe.com. 
