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Bob Ryan

Overdue spring cleaning

A checklist of mind over matter

By Bob Ryan
Globe Columnist / June 24, 2010

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Emptying Out the Desk Drawer of the Sports Mind:

You had Clay Buchholz in the Cy Young pool, didn’t you?

I’ve seen a lot of baseball games, but Lowell Spinners starter Randy Consuegra gave me something I’ve never seen before Monday night: His evening’s work consisted of a walk, a walk, a walk, a walk, and a beaning. Have I mentioned the four wild pitches interspersed therein? And you thought Nuke LaLoosh was a fiction of Ron Shelton’s imagination.

Tommy, Tommy, Tommy! A Justin Bieber haircut? What is this woman doing to you?

Rajon Rondo went for the undergraduate shooting degree with Professor Price last summer. I trust he’s signed up for the graduate program this year.

I fear that Terry Francona won’t be fully appreciated around here until we go through three skippers in the first five years after his departure.

According to embattled French soccer mentor Raymond Domenech, the decision of his players not to practice in protest Sunday was “an aberration, an imbecility, a stupidity without name.’’ Even allowing for translation upgrading, why can’t we have coaches possessing this eloquence?

Leftover query from the Finals: Who mangled the anthem more, Anita Baker (who began off-key and never recovered) or Christina Aguilera, who turned it into a torch song and then missed hitting “rockets’ red glare’’ from here to Pluto?

Am kinda hoping a 7-foot-1-inch growth-stock, quasiproject named Solomon Alabi (Florida State) is available when the Celtics pick at No. 19 tomorrow night. So, yes, consider me to be the official Alabi lobby.

Since being accused of stealing signs via bullpen binoculars on May 13, the Philadelphia Phillies are 17-19. Not to imply anything.

Guess we won’t be bumping into Logan Mankins at Patriot Place anytime soon.

Over/under on how many times we’ll hear the word “upside’’ used on the NBA draft telecast: 50.

Who’d have thought the Los Angeles Lakers would have the most restrained “presentation’’ of NBA basketball in the league? But it’s true, starting with Lawrence Tanter, the league’s best PA announcer (no screaming), and continuing with the presence of a real, live band that gives the Staples Center, of all places, a collegiate atmosphere.

The great imponderable of the 2010 NBA playoffs was what would have happened had George Karl not gotten sick. The Nuggets were playing very well entering the playoffs, but they never had a chance under the guidance of the pathetically overmatched Adrian Dantley.

I will never forget how confidently defiant the Flyers were in their locker room following Game 3 against the Bruins. Trust me when I tell you they did not think the series was over.

Excuse me, but did I sleep through a Super Bowl or something? The Jets are loaded with yappy players who want to be paid as if they had just won a ring.

I find it chilling that the BCS college presidents were willing to cut the throat of tradition-rich Kansas basketball to squeeze a few more bucks from football. Shameful.

Keep in mind there is still no evidence the Celtics can attract a quality free agent to this old, cold Eastern city. Ray Allen was conscripted here via trade and Kevin Garnett agreed to come only because Ray was already here.

Speaking of free agents and such, are you as curious as I am to see exactly how far the Russian billionaire will go to sign LeBron James? Wonder if LeBron has ever heard the word “dacha.’’

How Low Tiger Has Sunk Dept. Consider that he was willing to throw his loyal pitbull caddie Steve Williams under an entire fleet of buses before ordering that they back up over him. Tiger has always been a dog-ate-my-homework guy when things don’t go well, but blaming Stevie for club selection Sunday is truly despicable.

Could we please import Englishman Martin Tyler to do an NFL game this season, just so we can hear him say that a defender has “dispossessed’’ a running back of the football?

By the way, this is not news, but as time passes and we survey the field, it must be said that Sean McDonough remains the finest all-around sports broadcaster working in this country today. He even aced the NCAA lacrosse games.

Here’s the Baseball Prospectus preseason summation on Daniel Nava: “Daniel Nava made his pro debut at High A in 2008 and has raked at every level since. He’s already 27, but a career .354/.450/.568 hitter who bested these numbers in Double A has to be taken seriously.’’

Tyler Seguin or Taylor Hall. Let’s hope that whichever one the Bruins get doesn’t turn out to be Ryan Leaf, if you know what I mean.

I was at the game, so I can only hope that when Joe Torre inserted that pinch runner Sunday night, whoever was at the mike at the time had the presence of mind to say, “Hu’s on first.’’ I can’t believe McCarver would have blown that opportunity.

Apropos of Ellsbury: Hey, the guy broke four ribs. He’ll be ready when he’s ready. Geez.

We could conceivably have a better all-around team in the 2014 World Cup, but will we ever have a better goalkeeper? I suggest we make a run now.

Baseball Prospectus preseason analysis of Clay Buchholz: “After doing nothing but dominating in the minors, it seems Buchholz has finally arrived for real.’’

Kobe better than Michael? Yeah, and Mick Jagger’s a better vocalist than Sinatra.

Bob Ryan is a Globe columnist and host of Globe 10.0 on Boston.com. He can be reached at ryan@globe.com.

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