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No closing act

While the Red Sox may have entertained the notion of asking Roger Clemens if he'd be interested in finishing his career as a closer, the Rocket's people say that you might as well ask Seiji Ozawa if he wants to end his career as bass guitarist for U2.

Here's Clemens's agent, Randy Hendricks, after reading the Clemens-as-closer speculation in the Globe: "Here is the chance that Roger will consider becoming the Red Sox closer: NO CHANCE.''

The Sox are adamant that Jonathan Papelbon, a sensation as a rookie closer, will switch to the starting rotation next season. They are equally adamant that if Clemens wanted to write the final chapter of his Hall of Fame career in Boston, they'd try to make it happen, even after laying out $51.1 million just to talk to Daisuke Matsuzaka.

By the way, Tom Werner's dinner party for Dice-K was huge news in Japan, receiving extremely favorable attention.