With three days off from watching games, and with all of the Boston injuries, I thought I'd write some "Get Well" cards to the sidelined Celtics ...
Get well soon. Seriously. Get well. For the most of the season you've been playing injured with a visible, pained expression on your face. It has shown most in your defense, and let's be honest, you weren't exactly Bruce Bowen when you were 100 percent. Watching you lumber up and down the floor on two bum ankles and a bad knee, while honorable, was simply painful to watch. You looked like a washed up old man in a pick up game, futilely jacking up shots, trying to get back his college intramural form. My question to you is why? The team hasn't even sniffed a .500 record all season. It's not exactly a Willis Reed situation here, pal. OK, so you are willing to play hurt, we get it. We appreciate it, really we do. Just make sure you are completely healthy before you return. Your ligaments will appreciate it more.
I know it seems unlikely, but get well soon. And things were going so well! You were scoring, playing the shutdown defense Celtics fans knew you were capable of. Heck, you even started passing toward the end there. Don't get down on yourself, I'm not counting out a comeback. You're young, strong, and you've come back from a knee injury before. Just a tip for when you do get back on the floor. Play to the whistle, and only to the whistle. No need to entertain the crowd after play stops, that's what the scantily clad dance team is for, remember?
Um, get well soon ... I guess. Al and Kendrick have been getting into foul trouble, and the team sorely misses your six precious fouls off of the bench. Hey, maybe that can be a nickname for you, Brian "Six Fouls" Scalabrine. No? Well, sleep on it. I'm sure the team also misses your invaluable intangibles. Those things you do that are so important they don't show up in a box score or anywhere else that I've noticed in your two seasons here. With Gerald Green and Al Jefferson seeing a lot of time, the team is definitely overloaded with tangible talent, so they sorely miss you.
Dear Theo Ratliff,
Get well soon, T-Rat. Although you're out for the season with a herniated disc, you can take comfort in your ridiculously huge contract. But seriously, there isn't another guy I know who deserves to be paid more than $11 million for two games of basketball. Except for me.
Get well, Cap. Just take your time doing it. You won't be back until the All-Star break? What's the rush? Take a vacation. I hear Jamaica is great this time of year. By the way, did you see Kevin Durant from Texas the other night? Yeah, he's pretty good. Did you see Greg Oden on Ohio State last Saturday night? He is the seven foot old guy with the beard who dropped 24 points and grabbed 15 rebounds. You catch that? Anyway, you just make sure you’re completely, absolutely 150 percent ready to come back before you start practicing again.
Three things that came to me while pre-ordering my Greg Oden Celtics jersey ...