One in a row

Finally.

Paul Pierce and the Boston Celtics won a basketball game.

Admit it, that felt good. Even all of you Celtics fans out there scribbling extra verses to your “Ode to Oden”, and worshipping the court Kevin Durant walks on wanted to see the green pull one out. You know, just to make sure any of the players still knew how it was done.

Around loss number eleventeen in a row even rational fans stop saying “hey, we’re just developing young talent,” and start thinking “wait a second, these guys are terrible.” Nothing like a 20-point blowout to the Reddless Bucks to renew faith in your basketball team. After all, God is a Celtics fan. It couldn’t have come at a better time. It was starting to look like the Captain might jump ship.

It was clear Paul had had enough of the losing. He came back early to keep himself out of those other history books. The ones filled with 0-fers, sweeps, sub-.500 seasons, and the worst kind of streaks. A whole lot worse than those pesky streaks on your window. A lot harder to get rid of too. Enter No. 34, the Windex Man.

Looking a little slower, a little chubbier, and a lot madder, Pierce took the floor at the Garden on Wednesday night ready to wipe clean the worst run in Boston Celtics history. If his physical appearance wasn’t convincing enough that Pierce wasn’t 100 percent, his play and stats told the story. Don’t let the 32-point performance fool you. That was all heart. Pierce attempted only four free throws in the game, half as many as his average. He shot eight three-point field goals, which was almost twice as many as his career average. So clearly he didn’t have the legs or the leap to take it to the rack. Maybe the most shocking stat was that Pierce had zero rebounds. Not one board for the guy who averages almost seven a game, second-most on the team.

It didn’t matter. Pierce caught fire from deep, the rest of the team fell in line, and the Boston Celtics walked off the court winners.

Finally.

Three things that came to me after I shot myself in the eye with a cork from my celebratory champagne bottle ...