Hoping to see...

OK kids, it's time to dress up your little brother in a gold sweatsuit and horn-rimmed glasses and get your clothesline arm ready … it's Lakers vs. Celtics! No, this isn't the late '80s and you're not sitting in front of your TV playing Sega Genesis. Have you heard? This is the real thing. In 2008.

Yes, we're just hours away from the start of what will be an insane couple of weeks. But before we get started, I want to run down a quick list of things I'm looking forward to in what is sure to be an epic series. Let's Go!

I want to see…

• Sam Cassell with his warm-ups on all game, every game.
• At least 5 close-ups on ABC of Angry Perk Face.
• Competent refereeing.
• Paul Pierce hit his fourth-quarter free-throws.
• A Tony Allen appearance in the series. If Tony can move on his ankle, he will have to play some one-on-one D against Kobe. At least to see what he's got. He's had success before, although the stage may be too big for him to get his confidence back … but if he can harness it and play that instinctual on-the-ball D, he could be the X factor that no one's talking about. At the very least, put him in for 2 minutes, see if he can be effective, and if not, pull the plug. All I'm asking for is a chance.
• Leon Powe manhandle Ronnie Turiaf. I'll be honest, I'm almost as excited for that potential matchup than Pierce-Kobe or KG-Gasol.
• Kobe Bryant get the Peyton Manning treatment from the Celtics faithful. Come on, C's fans … as Ian pointed out, there's not a single thing to like about this guy. Let him hear it. Hell, I'll even take a "Cut that meat" chant. He's the most unlikable person since Billy Mitchell in King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters.
• KG take more than half of his shots in the paint.
• A Gino appearance before the final whistle of the first two games.
• Ray Allen spot-up three-pointers on the fast break.
• Derek Fisher get "Rondo'd." I also want to see Rajon hit about four open jumpers a game.
• A cessation to the playing of horrible "Everybody clap your hands. clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap." STOP IT. JUST STOP IT! This is not Miami or Atlanta or every other sterile NBA home arena! Please, stop playing this horrible 2008 version of what is essentially the Macarena. It's embarrassing. Especially the people who actually clap to this thing. Come on. We're better than that. Sorry, had to get that off my chest.
• Luke Walton intentionally sabotage the Lakers. Come on, Bill, get in your son's ear and have him do the honorable thing. It's for your Celtics legacy.
• James Posey with at least three slide-20-feet-on-his-back-while-diving-after-a-loose-ball plays.
• Tommy and Kareem get into a shouting match on the Comcast SportsNet postgame.
• Larry Bird in attendance at the Garden. Sure, it probably won't happen, as he's still the GM of the Pacers and weeks away from probably his biggest draft as head of that franchise, but come on, Larry, this transcends whatever you think your current role is in the NBA. Remember in the early-2000 playoff home games, when the "parade of heroes" would commence before each game … Red leading the way with Russell, Havlicek, Cousy, Walton, JoJo, Tommy, and the rest of the legends of Celtics past made their appearances on the big board?

  There was always one glaring omission ... you, Larry. The closest we got was some older guy who kind of looked like you waving a towel up on the 300 sections. Don’t get me wrong, that guy ruled. But that's not going to be good enough for this series. Seriously, Larry, you need to be here. We know that Paul Gaston pushed you away from the franchise in the '90s, we know you have no connection to the current building or the current players, and we know you feel uncomfortable in the limelight.

  But it's Celtics-Lakers! We don't have Red anymore to lead the charge from the stands. We still have Russell, Hondo, and the others, but adding you will take it to another level. Do the right thing!

• Banner No. 17. They don’t put up banners for second place, boys. Time to make your own legacy.