Meet Jesse Nunes

Not long ago, Jesse was afflicted with a mysterious ailment. Seeking answers, he went to his physician for an explanation. After numerous tests showed nothing out of the ordinary in reflex, hearing or vision, the doctor ordered a blood test. When the syringe was planted into Jesse's arm and the plunger pulled back, the vile filled up with a mysterious green liquid.

Suddenly, a cloud of smoke exploded in the air and the doctor morphed into a leprechaun, the syringe transformed into a cane. The leprechaun paused, looked Jesse in the eyes, and laughed.

"Those who bleed Green," the small, strange creature proclaimed, "can never be cured!"

"What ... what caused this?" stammered an obviously confused Jesse.

"Such a condition can manifest itself in many ways," laughed the leprechaun.

"Some may trace it to the Larry Bird flu pandemic, others the Delonte West Nile Virus, a bad case of Ed Pinck-eye, or simply Travis Knight-tremors. Other possible causes can stress brought on from a Kevin Gamble-ing addiction, torn Acie Earl, or even Mad Cowens Disease."

"But I know what the symptoms really point to ..." said the leprechaun in a hushed tone.

"The incurable madness of being a Celtics fan."

With that, Jesse put back on his clothes and headed out the door, a green band aid on his arm. If this thing can't be cured, he thought, might as well have some fun with it.