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There's no reason to swoon over Red Sox

Posted by Obnoxious Boston Fan  September 15, 2011 09:27 AM

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agonz.jpgRemember that 2-10 start? Those were the good old days.

The Red Sox have trumped their April debut with a 3-11 run in September. That 9 1/2-game lead in the wild card? Gone with Hurricane Irene. Tim Wakefield's feel-good 200th win? They'll need No. 201 even more. Red Sox vs. Phillies? That was fine in 1915. When the Red Sox woke up on Sept. 1 - they had a 1 1/2-game lead over the Yankees. Then Curtis Granderson made that gut-wrenching catch in center, A-Gonz struck out looking with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth and 2011 imploded. Today, they're just 3 up in the wild card with 13 to play and the division title's heading south from Connecticut to the Bronx.

The Red Sox open the 2012 season April 5 at Detroit. The 2011 season could still end Sept. 28 in Baltimore and no one but Dustin Pedroia seems to care. What time is Bruins' practice tomorrow?

Bard_Daniel-head10.jpg Daniel Bard is the latest scapegoat. Folks surprised with his rapid descent need to check out the replay of Opening Day against the Rangers (4 runs, 4 hits, 2/3 of an inning). Relievers – more so than any other position on the roster – are only as good as their last outing. A year ago, the big concern in the bullpen was whether or not Jonathan Papelbon should be set-up man in 2011. Now, Papelbon’s return to Boston next season is a must for anyone not named Theo. Bard has been mostly good this year. If he’s not hurt, his book for 2011 has yet to be written.

The Red Sox are playing soft, hurt and without passion. Thursday's game was arguably the biggest of the season - and all they had to offer the Rays was 3-plus innings of Kyle Weiland before surrendering in a 9-2 loss. Injuries, player mismanagement, lack of effort, poor acquisitions, bad luck, broken bats, Tito, Theo, Wally, whatever the cause, a contagion of fear has enveloped Yawkey Way.

And if there weren't already enough reasons to rip our blog - try this: Since our debut on Sept. 6 - the Red Sox have gone 2-7.

Some stuff to take our mind off September's swoon...

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  • He's the Father of Our Nation: Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie can sympathize with Boston lawyer Ben Seisler.

    Neither can rattle off all his kids.

    Seisler, a Boston lawyer, was a sperm donor while he was in law school. Turns out he’s the mother of all Baby Daddies and has fathered at least 70 kids. Sounds like a great candidate to be the next NBA commissioner.

    Cromartie gained Baby Daddy infamy last season during a taping of the HBO documentary “Hard Knocks” when he couldn't remember the names of all his children. The Jets cornerback has “nine kids with eight women over six states” but could only name eight when asked.

  • To put "Big Ben's" proliferation in a pro sports perspective – he’s got more kids than Cromartie, Larry Johnson, Shawn Kemp, Evander Holyfield and Calvin Murphy – combined.

    Seisler - who earned $150 for each transaction according to the story in Thursday's Globe - made "between 120-140" deposits, kept his wrists intact enough to complete all those written law school exams and managed not to go blind. Poor guy must have been exhausted. With all those kids who may want to see their dad on a regular basis, carpal tunnel syndrome would be the least of his problems.

    He can always rent out the Garden for Father’s Day.

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  • I'll drink to that: Tom Brady , another notable Baby Daddy, triggered outrage when he said he wants Pats’ fans to drink early and often Sunday. The worst part here was the Patriots trying to issue a clarification saying he meant "'stay hydrated, drink a lot of water. Be loud, drink responsibly."

    Seriously? Does any normal person talk like that, never mind a football player? "Time to party - let's hydrate!" When the Pats start charging $7.50 for water, I’ll believe that one.

    Good for Brady. It’s not like drinking in Foxborough is some sort of secret. The Patriots home used to be named after beer. How many suds showers have you gotten at Schaefer/Sullivan/Foxborough/Patriots/Gillette Stadium over the years? The NFL glorifies tailgating and has a $1.2 billion, 6-year sponsorship deal with Budweiser. Brady, however, can't tell fans to "get lubed up and cheer for their home team?" The guy has won three Super Bowls, is worth every penny of his $72 million contract (as opposed to a certain right fielder for the Red Sox) and threw for 1,551 feet Monday night - he's earned the right to speak his mind.

    The folks ripping Brady need to lighten up.

    The "but he's a role model" crowd will be shocked, shocked, to hear that back in the days before it became a capital offense, underage fans used to drink beer at Pats’ games with ease. Come to think of it, the drinking age at Fenway Park when I was a kid was about 15 1/2. Now, if an 18-year-old can get his hands on a beer at a Pats game, it's probably being given to him by his dad, uncle or older brother. Nothing No. 12 says is going to sway that decision one way or another.

    Most adult fans are responsible and mature enough to handle themselves. If some idiot is prone to drink himself into passing out, triggering a brawl or a getting DUI charge with their daughter sleeping in the back seat (see Curtis Leskanic) – they don’t need Brady for inspiration. Drunken jerks have been a staple in Foxborough since the days of Plunkett-to-Vataha.

    Now if Brady could fire up the crowd at Fenway, that might be something.

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  • Bad Manny: After listening to his wife's 911 call, all those feel-good memories of Manny Ramirez will carry their own mental asterisk. It’s one thing to not believe he was juicing when he became the first Red Sox player to win the World Series MVP award since the Dawn of Time. We’ll never know who was on what back then (see: 2003 Yankees). The whole game was tarnished and that era will be put in a skewed historical perspective.

    But this is different. It’s brutal and ugly. For one, it involves potential criminal charges. Secondly, if true, it violates everyone's first rule of manhood – “Never hit a woman.”

Time for your vote in our new poll: Who is the best coach/manager in Boston: Belichick, Rivers, Julien or Francona. Let your voice be heard. Vote in our poll and post your thoughts here, on our Obnoxious Boston Fan Facebook page or e-mail them to me at obnoxiousbostonfan@hotmail.com. And don't forget to follow us on twitter @realOBF. Don't miss our live chat right here off the Patriots-Chargers game on Sunday. We'll be kicking it off around 4:15.

Thanks for reading. Pass the clicker.

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The author is solely responsible for the content.

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Obnoxious Boston Fan offers a fun, unique and biting perspective on the Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins, Patriots and whatever else people are talking about in the world of sports. We More »
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