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Red Sox scar a new generation of fans

Posted by Obnoxious Boston Fan  September 29, 2011 01:00 AM

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dreamticket.jpg

Obnoxious Boston Fan

We won't be needing these tickets after all.


This should set Red Sox Nation back about 86 years.

These are my father’s Red Sox after all. There will be no more fakes in the stands at Fenway. Anyone over the age of 5 who shows up next season has earned their Red Sox stripes. The torch has been passed. An entirely new generation of fans have been scarred for life. This was disgusting, embarrassing and horrifying.

hindenburg-medium.jpgThe greatest collapse in history is complete. Forget Rome. The 1929 stock market crash. The Soviet Union. The Berlin Wall. Super Bowl XLII. The Titanic. The Hindenburg. Home values. Every other baseball team ever. The 2011 Red Sox out Red Soxed themselves – wiping 1978 and every other breathtaking free-fall out of the record books.

A $161 million payroll produced a 7-20 September. Shock and awful. If the Red Sox had just gone 9-18, as Theo pointed out, they'd still be playing. And just like the Patriots, the Red Sox haven't won a postseason game since 2008.

Wally. “Sweet Caroline.” 100th Anniversary Fenway Bricks. The 100th Anniversary Fenway celebration. Big Papi hugging Yankee fans. Pink Hats. White Hats. Hats with little stars on them. Camo hats. The Remy Awards. Theo, Tito. Those seats above right field near the Budweiser sign. The Budwesier sign. The NESN baby. His brother and sister. The official everything.

Get rid of them all.

Those Red Sox game-worn collectibles available at Steinersports.com? Bonfire anyone?

The 2011 Red Sox went down with all the fight of France. And about 10 million of us saw it coming a couple of weeks ago. The nine-game "September to Dismember" choke was the worst in baseball history.

Gutless. Clueless. Hitless.

Dick Cheney has more heart than this bunch.

Long winter? Try nuclear winter.

The Curse of Carl Crawford has been born. Where was Mike Greenwell when we needed him? At 10 p.m. Wednesday night – the Red Sox were leading the Orioles 3-2 in the rain and the Staten Island Yankees were up 7-0 on the Rays. The Red Sox would eventually be one strike away -- both in St. Pete and Baltimore -- from clinching a playoff spot. But in about a three-minute span after the clock struck midnight, everything got destroyed in a timeline of terror. The Red Sox lost 4-3 at 12:02 a.m. and the Rays won 8-7 in 12 innings a few hundred seconds later. Official time of death, 12:05 a.m. This nightmare will play on a never-ending loop in our heads.

Agony. In case you missed it – the Red Sox were 77-0 with the lead after the eighth inning this season – make that 77-1 ... The guy who had tied the game for the Rays in the ninth with a two-out, two-strike HR – Dan Johnson – had the lowest batting average of any position player in the majors (.108) with more than 50 at-bats ... If Marco Scutaro doesn’t stop, he scores easily ... Jonathan Papelbon hadn’t blown a save in eight whole days ... Johnson's last big home run came off Papelbon in 2008.

This what happens when you root for the Evil Empire – even for a few hours. Our Faustian bargain backfired. The Devil made us pay and we're in baseball hell. ESPN noted that the Yankees hadn't blown a 7-run lead in the eighth inning or later since 1953.

Thumbnail image for 3rdbase.jpgDo you want to clean house? Papelbon, Ortiz, J.D. Drew, Tim Wakefield, Erik Bedard, and Jason Varitek – among others – are free agents.

Congratulations to the 2011 Tampa Bay Rays for being the team the Red Sox used to be. Now it will be a real baseball miracle if they can draw more than 35,000 for a playoff game. They should swap franchises with the Cubs so each fan base gets what it truly deserves. Rays bench coach Don Zimmer got himself off the hook. Well done, Johnny Damon. And I thought the only idiots in Pinellas County were the jurors who acquitted Casey Anthony.

The greatest story in baseball (the Braves tried to steal some of Boston's thunderous thud with their collapse, too) wrapped itself around the most excruciating Red Sox season in memory. Back in 2004, the Red Sox became America’s Team. They’re now America’s Joke. This is worse than 2003 Aaron Boone pain and approaches Stanley/Buckner pain. I witnessed Game 7 in 1975 and the 1978 playoff game at Fenway. This equals Bucky F. Dent pain, Lou Piniella sticking-his-glove-up-in-the-sun pain, Tony Perez moon-shot pain and Yaz ending-both-of-those-games-at-the-plate pain.

Let's go, Patriots. Flyers at Bruins next Thursday can't come soon enough. The Stanley Cup banner will feel like an extra-large dose of Percocet after root-canal surgery.

But pain-killers eventually wear off.

And this feeling may never go away.

Why did this happen? What's next? What would you to fix the Red Sox? Tell us your thoughts here, on our Obnoxious Boston Fan Facebook page or e-mail them to me at obnoxiousbostonfan@hotmail.com. And don't forget to follow us on twitter @realOBF. Thanks for reading. Pass the clicker.

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Obnoxious Boston Fan offers a fun, unique and biting perspective on the Red Sox, Celtics, Bruins, Patriots and whatever else people are talking about in the world of sports. We More »
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