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NFL Week 7 Power Rankings: It's Gronk's World and Patriots just living in it

Posted by Obnoxious Boston Fan  October 18, 2013 08:51 PM

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Best Of Gronk[via For The Win/Gifulmination.Com]

"Yo soy Fiesta."

How about: "Yo soy falso."

Or perhaps "Yo soy lleno de [Spanish expletive]."

We've been played. So were the Patriots and Bob Kraft's wallet.

When it comes to "tight ends pulling the wool over everyone's eyes," Rob Gronkowski is a solid No. 2 in the recent history of the Patriots.

There's no denying Rob Gronkowski's dominance on the field in 2011 and most of 2012. He was Tom Brady's target of choice in the Red Zone and also was a beast when it came to blocking and covering the edges.

Coincidentally, or not at all, Gronkowski's latest marketing campaign hit the interwebs just as news broke courtesy of agent Drew Rosenhaus that Gronk would be playing Sunday against the Jets.

T-shirt.jpgHere's the t-shirt to prove it. The Gronk Nation Twitter feed (the official feed of the Gronkowski brothers) posted this image and a link to where you could buy the T-shirt for a limited time for $24.99.

Thanks to Rosenhaus, and the incredibly cheesy BODYARMOR spot, we know that Gronk will either play Sunday or the Patriots will create a rift with him and his camp that will never heal. The team desperately needs his presence on the field, especially with news that Danny "He Makes Clay Buchholz Look Like Cal Ripken, Jr. But We Can't Call Him Injury Prone" Amendola will be out again this week.

In the clip, Gronkowski says: "Obviously I went through a lot of hectic, emotional, stressful events with injuries -- but it's something you've got to deal with. It's a contact sport, every single play, and I'm just looking at my future now."

The grumblings about Gronk being a star in practice but then all of sudden being unable to play hit critical mass last Sunday and would have exploded over New England like the Blizzard of 1978 had Brady not reminded us last Sunday that he's still Brady with five seconds to play against the Saints.

Meanwhile, the Patriots have Gronkowski listed as "questionable' following those off-season surgeries and his extensive re-hab on various college campuses and in Las Vegas. The Patriots' plan, one would figure, would be to keep Gronk's status uncertain until Sunday's active rosters are released, giving them another edge over the Jets.

Not when Team Gronk has a new "Super Drink" to push.

Of course, the Patriots once had Brady listed as "probable - shoulder" for three years, from 2005-08. During that run, Brady never missed a game. A week after the Patriots removed him from the injury report, he landed on the IR for the rest of the year after being taken out by Bernard Pollard in the '08 season-opener.

NFL resident historian Sheldon Richardson, the 22-year-old rookie defensive lineman for the Jets, told us this week that hit let to the NFL's current rash of rules that protect NFL QBs. Of course, you could put Geno Smith or Mark Sanchez in a military-grade Humvee and they couldn't move the ball into the end zone.

Brady's behavior has been unprofessional at times this season, and he's thrown his share of tantrums and used off-color language on at least one occasion:


[via For The Win/Gifulmination.Com]

But Brady has always taken responsibility for anything he's done on or off the field, save for Gisele likely offering him some fashion tips. He's also a 36-year-old old, husband, father and Baby Daddy.

With Gronk, we're never sure who's calling the shots. The Patriots screwed up in both laying the foundation for Gronk's most-recent arm surgery by having him on extra-point duty after the final TD in their 59-24 win over the Colts last season. The surgery itself was possibly rushed to get him back in time for the postseason. And the procedure obviously wasn't done correctly given the resulting infections and other medical issues that have resulted from it.

Of course, Gronk wasn't necessary focused on re-hab 24-7, despite what the folks at BODYARMOR want us to believe. [The video clip of his top-less performance in Vegas has been removed from You Tube.]

Gronk is a single 24-year-old Hercules of a man who has no trouble meeting women, getting photographed top-less with porn stars, having a good time and raising his share of Hell. There's nothing wrong with that. But when you're working around a few off-season surgeries and put your self into situations where you're going to photographed chugging beers and break-dancing on stage, it will negatively impact your image and your perception among teammates and fans.

Miss five weeks at the a start of the season even after eventually kicking ass in practice, and all those doubts are going to magnified.

Having Gronkowski back in the lineup will be a major boost. Through six games, the Patriots have a combined nine catches for 96 yards and a touchdown from their tight ends� Michael Hoomanawanui and Matthew Mulligan. If Gronkowski can contribute as a blocker, the Patriots running game could take off. Last season, with a Gronk and Aaron Hernandez blocking on the edges, Erik Frenz tells us the Patriots ran the ball 68 times off tight end for 311 yards; in 2013, they've run the ball 19 times off tight end and have picked up just 34 yards.

Gronk and his camp have done their best to make sure he is the story Sunday against the Jets. We never seem to be able to make him responsible for his irresponsibility.

But we've seen this week how much of Gronk's World is about Gronk and where exactly the Patriots fit into it. Probably somewhere between BODYARMOR and those Dunkin' Donuts commercials.

That's not all bad. At least this Gronk talk momentarily takes our mind off the fact that Patriots lost Jerod Mayo for the season last week and hip injury that has dogged All-World cornerback Aqib Talib resurfaced last week, as well.

This week, all eyes are on Gronk, just like he wants it.

But if he doesn't come through, those t-shirts may end up for sale for $1.99 on ebay.

Here are this week's rankings. Teams are listed with their records and last week's rankings.

Here's the Week 6 GIF of the week, courtesy of Brady, Rob Ryan and the Saints.

EliPix[via NFL.com]

1. Broncos (6-0; 1) - Jim Irsay says he's disappointed because Peyton Manning only won one Super Bowl in Indianapolis. The Broncos are averaging 44.1 points per game. Not a wise move, Jimbo.

2. Chiefs [sorry if you're offended] (6-0; 3) - 65 points allowed are fewest in the NFL. And that's given fans at Arrowhead Stadium plenty to cheer about. And they cheered so loud they broke the all-time outdoor-crowd decibel level record last week. The 137.5 decibels, if upheld, would top the 136.6 decibels at home by the Seahawks on Sept. 16.

3. Patriots (5-1; 7) - This:

4. Seahawks (6-1: 4) - They rebounded nicely from their first loss with a pair of victories in the past week. Playing Tennessee and Arizona is usually a good cure-all.

5. Saints (5-1; 2) - Couple of things, guys. Don't offer bounties. Don't give Brady three shots in the final three minutes. Don't ever stop believing in "showponies" and "unicorns."

6. Colts (4-2; 5) - Every member of the Colts' defense is thinking the same thing: "STFU, boss."

7. Bengals (4-2; 6) - Were pushed to overtime by the Bills last week before winning 27-24. But they somehow yielded a pair of TD passes to Thad Lewis a week after ending Brady's 52-game TD passing streak.

8. Bears (4-2; 8) - Brandon Marshall was fined $10,500 wearing green shoes to raise awareness of mental illness. Marshall said he would match the fine. Coolest fine of the season.

9. Lions (4-2; 9) - DT Ndamukong Suh was fined $31,500 for planting his helmet into chest of Cleveland QB Brandon Weeden. Suh was not flagged on the play. For good measure, the NFL also fined him $25,000 for David Ross' takedown of Mike Avila in Game 5.

10. 49ers (4-2; 11) - Jim Harbaugh may have delivered the two most intriguing quotes of the year in the same story, via the San Francisco Chronicle when discussing the Titans defense. “They’re the best we’ve seen at clubbing, punching, stripping, lawn-mowering, just lodging it out from opponents,” Harbaugh said. Even better, here's his take on Frank Gore's fumble last week: “When that happens to Frank, you’re not going to sneak up on Frank again and hit him over the head with a bag of dung a second time.”

He's no Belichick.

11. Ravens (3-3; 14) - Dullest Super Bowl champions since the Giants.

12. Browns (3-3; 12) - Weeden said he wore "earmuffs" to block out criticism after Cleveland's 31-17 loss to Detroit. Keep them handy as the season progresses.

13. Titans (3-3; 13) - Jake Locker's may return this week against the 49ers. Meanwhile, Ryan Fitzpatrick has lost two straight in relief.

14. Dolphins (3-2; 10) - Ryan Tannehill is now on a pace to be sacked 78 times this season. His bye week ended way too soon.

15. Packers (3-2; 20) - Tight end Jermichael Finley was fined $15,750 by the NFL for his hit on Baltimore Raven Terrell Suggs last week.

The NFL should have given Finely a bonus.

16. Cowboys (3-3; 18) - Most interesting angle off last week's victory over the Redskins [sorry if you're offended] was fact that Cowboys' announcer Brad Sham nearly made it through the whole game while avoiding the use of Washington's team name. "It was a conscious, personal independent decision," Sham said.

17. Chargers (3-3; 19) - Scored 19-9 upset over Colts last week. Rewarded with consecutive bye weeks, starting with visit to Jacksonville Sunday.

18. Rams (3-3; 22) - Scored a mild upset at Houston last week. Sam Bradford threw three TDs last week, in case you're looking for a 2nd stringer on your Fantasy League team.

19. Jets (3-3; 15) - Rookie DL Sheldon Richardson delivered all the fodder the Patriots would ever need by telling the New York Post that the NFL has created special rules to coddle Tom Brady, including the now defunct Tuck Rule. Richardson has had 2 1/2 sacks in his NFL career, which is 1/2 behind the number of Super Bowl rings that Brady owns. Richardson was 11 when Brady won his first Super Bowl, with help of the Tuck Rule.

But his idiocy did give leave us with this:

Brady doesn't live inside the Jets' head, he owns it.

20. Cardinals (3-3; 16) - Life is tough when you're not even the best bird in your own division. Simply overwhelmed by Russell Wilson and the Seahawks Thursday night.

21. Panthers (2-3; 27) - 68 points allowed second-best in the NFL. But you do have to score once in a while.

22. Eagles (2-3; 21) - Nick Foles will play in place of Mike Vick at QB, for those looking for a 4th stringer on their Fantasy League team.

23. Texans (2-4; 17) - Phoniest playoff team in the NFL last season showing its true colors this season. Fans booing injured QB Matt Schaub at home last week. Please tell they would never do that in Foxborough. Or at least since Tony Eason left town.

24. Falcons (1-4; 18) - Coming off bye.

25. Vikings (1-4; 24) - Columnist writes piece saying time for struggling team to trade its top star. Boy, that's an original take, says the guy who remembers reading how the Red Sox should trade Yaz in 1974.

26. Bills (2-4; 25) - When Thad Lewis may be the answer, you don't want to ask the question.

27. Redskins [apologies if you're offended] (1-4; 26) - How much talk would there be about changing their name [says the guy who remembers reading about that in 1987] if they were 5-0?

28. Raiders (2-4; 28) - QB Terrelle Pryor was sacked 10 times by the Chiefs last week and must have taken a few too many shots. "We'll be back...we'll get to the playoffs," he said. Maybe in 2016.

29. Steelers (1-4; 29) - First it was no more parlor games in the locker room. Now, coach Mike Tomlin has put a stop to hiis players doing somersaults into the end zone after scoring because the may cause injury.

Football, on the other hand, is just fine.

30. Bucs (0-5; 30) - Continue their push to get the 1976 Bucs off the hook.

31. Giants (0-6; 23) - You can tell the New York Giants are 0-6 because the New York Post is using quotes from New York Jets rookies to inspire its back page.

32. Jaguars (0-6; 32) - They only lost by 16 points to Denver on Sunday. The party lasted until Wednesday.

Don't forget to visit our Obnoxious Boston Fan blog. As always, let us know what you think. Post your thoughts here, on our Obnoxious Boston Fan Facebook page, on Twitter @realOBF or e-mail me at obnoxiousbostonfan@hotmail.com.

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