It may be time for the FDA to approve "Bill Belichick Half-Time Speech" medicine as an official cure-all for ailing NFL offenses.
For the second straight week, the Patriots made some brilliant, game-changing half-time adjustments and rallied for another one of those patented "Ulcer-Inducing-Late-Season-Comeback" victories.
Sunday, New England trialed 17-7 before scoring on five straight second-half possessions and escaping from Houston with a 34-31 victory.
For Houston defensive end Antonio Smith, the moves made by New England in the second half to slice up the Texans' alleged "best-in-the-league" defense were way too fishy.
"I'm very suspicious. I just think it will be a big coincidence if that just happened by chance. I don't know for sure, but I just know it was something that we practiced this week," Smith said in remarks reported via ESPN Boston. "Either teams are spying on us or scouting us."
Folks, that's code for "The Patriots are Cheating."
Guess we'll call this "Son of Spy Gate."
When your team is 2-10, blew a 17-7 half-time lead at home and was castrated twice by New England last season [once in December and again in the post-season], the "Belicheat" defense is the ultimate excuse for one's failures.
Always thought teams and coaches were supposed to scout their opponents. Smith's words are comfort food to the throngs of NFL players frustrated by the continued dominance of Belichick, Tom Brady and Co. [they are now 145-42 in the regular season as a QB-coach tandem] and the millions of Patriots-hating digital trolls and wanna-be media types from the center of Manhattan to the heart of Pennsyltucky.
Smith, who made his cry-baby remarks while speaking to reporters after the game, said the Texans introduced new wrinkles into their defense this week and had never used them in a game before, therefore they would not be on film.
Of course, this doofus forgets that the Patriots had an entire half of film/photos/video to work off at half time. And anyone who watched the game on CBS saw countless cutaways to Belichick furiously scribbling away on the sidelines. Either Belichick was taking notes notes on what was working well against New England or placing his post-game team pizza order.
Smith didn't have the brains, or inner-sack, to elaborate on exactly what illicit adjustments the Patriots make before the Patriots scored three touchdowns on Smith and the Texans in the second half.
"I can't tell you an example because it's G15 classified," Smith said. "It's a defensive thing that we might continue to use. ... The way, I'm trying to say it without giving it away. When you watch film of the team do something a certain way all the time no matter what team they play -- it's been 12 games played and they always did it -- and then all of a sudden it's changed? It was pretty clever and pretty suspicious."
He didn't elaborate on last week's loss to the Jaguars.
Any teams fortunate to play the once "Team of The Future" Texans should take some relief in knowing that Smith says his team plans to stick to those top-secret adjustments that yielded 27 points to New England in less than 30 minutes of play.
Smith even invoked history's greatest handicapper [sort of].
"You would have to be a descendant of Tonestradamus to know what we put in this week to be able to change that fast," he said.
In this case, Nostradamus meet Nostradumbass.
Players like Smith and his troll supporters wallowing in the basements of Jets Nation and Broncosville never seem to want to give the Patriots credit for anything they accomplish. Sunday, Brady was able to march his offense downfield effectively in the second half thanks to his stalwart offensive line, the continued dominance and resurgence of Rob Gronkowski and the Wes Who? "scrappy" play of Julian Edelman.
Gronk make sick catch. Gronk score. Gronk spike! MUST-SEE: http://t.co/JJddx4zjoC— NFL (@nfl) December 1, 2013
Gronkowski, who continued to slay defenders on his blocking schemes, scooped up a Brady grounder in the first half for New England's first touchdown. Brady, who now has 20 career wins coming back from double-digit deficits, targeted Gronk and Edelman a dozen times apiece. Gronk had six catches for 127 yards while Edelman caught nine passes for 101 yards. In all Brady cheated his way to 371 yards passing [29 of 41], two touchdowns and one interception for a 104.8 passer rating.
"We had some good matchups in the second half ... Josh [McDaniels] did a good job in matching our personnel and formations," Belichick said.
Or he had secret cameras taping their every move all week but went down by 10 points and needed a 53-yard field goal to win just to make it look legit.
The Patriots, now guaranteed their 13th straight cheating/winning season, continue to work on their own little "Miracle in Foxobourgh" this season. They remain on track for a first-round bye in the postseason despite all those challenges that have been chronicled here and elsewhere countless times this season.
Or maybe not.
Maybe the Patriots are just cheating.
No doubt, the NFL, which can't even go a week without blowing a major call on national TV [see end of Sunday's Giants-Redskins game], will assemble its own Warren Commission to investigate this "injustice." That will come soon after Trippin' Mike Tomlin likely gets a slap on the wrist/fine trying to trip Jacoby Jones on Thanksgiving.
Just imagine if Belichick had tried to trip Case Keenum? Roger Goodell would have already suspended him for this life and the next one.
After all - "Once a cheater, always a cheater."
It's working for Antonio Smith.
Or for anyone else whose team is 2-10.
Haters gonna hate.
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