Anyone looking for the perfect metaphor for the 2014 Red Sox season found it Monday night in the windshield of this SUV parked atop the garage across the street from the Green Monster at Fenway Park.
Goodbye home run, goodbye car windshield. http://t.co/xcSMwVPGaE— MLB GIFS (@MLBGIFs) July 29, 2014
This windshield, much like the Red Sox, was demolished Monday night by Melky Cabrera of the Toronto Blue Jays. Cabrera hit two home runs against Boston during Monday night's season-chloroforming 14-1 Red Sox loss. He finished the night 2-for-4 with three runs scored and five RBI.
His second HR Monday was a three-run bomb that cleared the left-field wall and put Toronto up 9-0 in the sixth inning.
Here's the end result up close:
Melky Cabrera broke a windshield in the parking lot behind the Green Monster pic.twitter.com/07ve1GHpLe— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) July 29, 2014
Time to call 1-800-54-GIANT.
According to ESPN's Stats and Info, the home run off Felix Doubront traveled 410 feet. Cabrera served a 50-game PED suspension in 2012 while playing for the San Francisco Giants.
Cabrera's first homer was two-run rocket off Clay Buchholz in the first inning that landed in the Red Sox bullpen. It put the Blue Jays up 2-0 and the rout was on.
Another fun summer night at Fenway.
Expensive tickets. Check.
Overpriced beer. Check.
Smashed windshield. Write a check (unless the owner of the van has comprehensive coverage, then there's no deductible on glass in Massachusetts).
In the video above, as CBS Eye on Baseball noted, one fan noticed that Cabrera's homer did some damage to a vehicle in addition to the havoc it wreaked upon the Red Sox.
Probably a night the owner of that SUV, along with 35,000 or so of their closest friends, wishes he or she could forget.
Here's proof the unlucky owner of that vehicle wasn't alone in abject misery Monday.
Your 2012, er, 2014, Red Sox.
All they need is Bobby Valentine to make it official.
The OBF column is written by award-winning journalist and Bay State native Bill Speros. Hit up Bill on his Obnoxious Boston Fan Facebook page, on Twitter @realOBF or at his
Obnoxious Boston Fan Email Address. Thanks always for reading.
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