A roundup of youth football lunacy

Posted by Matt Pepin, Boston.com Staff  September 30, 2010 07:59 AM

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Having the children's football season in full swing inevitably leads to all sorts of sad, wacky, and weird story lines from around the nation. Here's a brief review of some I've seen so far:

  • CNN reported on a brawl among youth football coaches in Texas that has led to one team being banned from postseason play, which then led to sobbing cries of "don't punish the kids, let them play." The video of the melee went viral this week.
  • In Florida, a high school football coach was suspended because he allowed a homeless player to live with him. Right out of "The Blind Side," right, a touching tale of compassion and human understanding. But ask yourself this: Would the coach have done the same for a Goth-dressing computer geek who couldn't tackle anything more than a 32-ounce Mountain Dew?
  • In late August, a 21-year-old man was arrested on multiple charges after he tried to pass himself off as 14 and join a youth football team in Tampa, Fla. Julious Javone Threatts was busted trying to register for middle school. He played one game for the Town 'N Country Packers, according to the St. Petersburg Times.
  • Back in Texas, a high school team was held to minus-93 yards rushing. Parish Episcopal only allowed Gateway Charter 16 yards of total offense in the whole game. The Dallas Morning News reports that Parish's coach did everything possible to avoid running up the score, but his backups were delirious over their bounty of playing time and kicked as much tail as the starters. Parish won 45-0.
  • In Utah, a high school football player claimed he was assaulted by opposing fans while he took a bathroom break at halftime. The Deseret News reported Cottonwood Colts sophomore Lo Falemaka may have torn a knee ligament and he had several other injuries. Police have no leads in the case.
  • Finally, if you need more proof about what's really important, a Georgia school has canceled classes tomorrow (technically they're calling it a "teacher workday") to accommodate those who wish to travel to the school's big showdown with a rival in Florida. Camden County of Kingsland, Ga., will face St. Thomas Aquinas of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., which is six hours away, and school officials feared everyone would just ditch school anyway.


That last one immediately brought to mind Judge Smails' famous advice to young Danny Noonan in the movie "Caddyshack."

"There are more important things than grades, Danny. Winning the caddie tournament, for instance, might look pretty good on a young fellow's application."

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