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Tony's Top 5 biggest lies told during baseball free agency

Email|Link|Comments (2) Posted by Tony Massarotti, Globe Staff November 3, 2008 09:19 AM

"We tried to keep him." Translation: We've milked this guy for all he's worth and he is starting to slip, so we're going to replace him with someone younger and cheaper.

"We think he'll benefit from a change of scenery." Translation: This guy is a nutcake, but he's a bargain. If we get a good year out of him, rejoice!

"That doesn't constitute tampering." Translation: We never contacted him directly. We just asked one of our former players to sleep on his lawn.

"There's another team involved." Translation: The market for this guy is non-existent right now, so I'm trying to create the illusion that there is actually a demand for his pathetic services.

"It's not about the money." Translation: Are you kidding? I'd play on Pluto for that. But while we're at it, can I get access to the private jet and have luxury seating for my family?

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2 comments so far...

Tony, very clever, as usual. Still miss you on the radio

Posted by Jay November 4, 08 04:00 PM

6. "The idea of it is there aren't many players in the marketplace who lead a team like Jason Varitek can, and that's got to be his value."

Translation: If you want Texiera, you have to overpay for Varitek.

Posted by Ken November 5, 08 01:33 PM

DO NOT HIT THE SUBMIT BUTTON MORE THAN ONCE!

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Tony Massarotti

is taking a few days off to celebrate the arrival of summer.

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Updated: Jun 20, 10:42 AM

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About Mazz

Tony Massarotti is a Globe sportswriter and has been writing about sports in Boston for the last 19 years. A lifelong Bostonian, Massarotti graduated from Waltham High School and Tufts University. He was voted the Massachusetts Sportswriter of the Year by his peers in 2000 and 2008 and has been a finalist for the award on several other occasions. He'll be using this forum to provide information, insight, and analysis on the Boston sports scene.

Tony's Top 5

Things to eat during the summer

Ice cream. Obvious, right? But we�re not talking about Haagen-Dazs. Go to a local stand and forgo the chain stores.

Spaghetti al limone. Do a Google search for the simple recipe and use linguine. Fast. Refreshing. Different.

Corn on the cob. Brush it with a little olive oil or butter and lightly salt. Then grill it. Trust me on this one.

Clams. Bellies or strips, steamed or fried. We prefer the steamahs, but go to your local shack and choose.

Lobster. If have a gas grill, buy the lobster pot attachment. Melt your own butter. Add some lemon. Nothing better.

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Updated: Jun 20, 11:10 AM

Featured Comments

No rush to anoint Rondo

Actually Tony is on-target here! Rondo has a great up-side, but there are still parts of the game where he is AWOL. He is extremely unique with his ball-handling skills and his rebounding is also a strength. The D is also eye-opening most of the time. He is a very confident athlete, hopefully not overconfident. The C's have never had a player quite like him! However, if he thinks he's indispensible, he better think again. This team has to win now while keeping an eye on the future!

CelticFanSinceRussell

In Boston, Bay stars

A four year $60 million dollar contract with a team option of a 5th year is not unreasonable to offer. The Yankees are in need of a left fielder after this season so it's imperative they get him signed because the rate will go up regardless at the end of the season because Steinbrenner will throw stupid money Bay's way even if it's just to drive the cost up for the Sox. Bay has earned it and proven he can play in a big market as well as the post season.

Mhaze